There she goes... a yuppie yippie yeay

I'm gonna have a big first date with my darling baby next week, InsyaAllah. Need to accessorise myself a bit hikss...So this is it, my mengada-ngada wishlist.

Within a year,i have lost all my watches (ilang/org pinjam tak pulang/org pinjam then ilangkan/ rosak/battery mati n malas nak betulkan coz dah tak suke). Therefore, i'm hunting for a new timepiece...

I saw this watch in Takashimaya a few months back, but with white soft leather with gold G links. Sadly, i couldn't find it anywhere here. Menyesal tak beli aritu :-(

Simple, but i think i like pink better, thus

Pink Sun Goddess Watch. Goddess bebbb!!

And I need a new pair of sunglasses.


This one looks abit like my late Etro sunglasses.. A bit out of fashion, don't u think?

Oh, now i have developed fetish over bracelets ;o)

Ekk, tetiba rasa gegirl sangat laks.. apsal ni?
Di kala bosan dan lapar, jigz menjadi tah pehapa..

Nevertheless, my ultimate wishlist is

D70 bebeh!! Got me melted all the way...
So jealous of xman, he got himself a D50... When is my turn? huwaaaa :'(

And,
my avantgarde wishlist...
Coming up soon...
jeng jeng jeng

She's all that...

When a GIRL is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing,she is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever.
When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says I love you, she means it.
When a GIRL says "i miss you", no one in this world can miss you more than that.

I was stripped naked last nite,hypothetically...

Esteem: D other side of jigz has always stayed within, until you ripped it off jst now. Tho i feel a bit tertekan krn my history being revealed, but it made me realized dat probably d root of failure of my rship is bcoz i refuse to let others know the person i was, dat made me who i am 2day. E'tho past n future never collides but we always go back to d root, don't we? Sure kau tak paham ape aku ngarut but thx 4 waking me up, dude.

Propagate: I do und'stand. Our root dvlps d strength of brothahud in each of us. No regret, even a slight of guilt 4 wut ive told just now. Its jst dat i wntd 2 rfresh d glory of our past. Bout ur luv, surely u will meet a much bttr prson. D ties dat binds btween all of us is d thing dat i cherish most. Sleeptight!

I used to live up to other people's expectation.
Now i just wanna live mine.

Let herstory remains with her

I was stripped naked last nite..literally.
Serious mengalir peluh-peluh betinaku (pasal aku bukan jantan so aku takde peluh2 jantan)..
Never in my rightful mind that my past life would be disclosed. The crazy jb life. The jiggy suey i left behind..

Sometimes people will look at me one kind je when they learn the truth of me - my choice of music, choice of friends, choice of living back then... Which i, until now, managed to keep it in my safety box, unless being revealed by my old frens. I listened, i read, i learned, i breath the idealogy. Though i dun give a damn 2cent of what people think of my idealogy and the scene but my reason of not telling - i hate people making fun of it. For those who never been involved in the scene, it may seem like "poyo siot!" Call it the poyoness of me... Lantak la. Aku tak kacau kau, pehal ko nak kacau life aku?!

I was a believer. But I was never an extremist. I knew that there are jerks who accused me of being a trend follower. I was there before it was even a trend. I was there before it was swarm by posers. I pulled myself away from the crowd and gone in silence.

It was a good life, good love, good music, good frens.

You know me so long, yes you thought you know me. Think again!
Sorry i wasn't truthful. It's just that you wouldn't understand.
You mainstream people sux.
Sorry beb!!

The other side of jigz stays within, until someone rip off herstory.

I'm a fisherman's friend

A guy fren likes to put a phrase on me, "Oh i forgot, you are not a GIRL!" He said it for 3 times last nite alone!

Let me tell you sumthing my dear fren..
No, i don't talk about guys with my galfrens when we hang out.. thank you very much. Tapi honestly la i think only school girls je buat keje checking out pretty guys. Ladies of my pathetic life have lots more to think of in life rather than wondering if the guy over that counter is checking on us or not. Women of my age aren’t talking about sex and relationships so much—they are talking about work and their careers. If you wonder if that makes us feel old, prolly..sometimes..

And dear fren....
Honestly, i don't really like to hang out with girls coz i feel so akwark. For some reason, i don't have much of girlfrens.. Really.. i hate the mengumpat, mengata, mengeji dan mengutuk other people and no, i don't think it's funny at all, i hate the gossipping sessions, i hate the "check-out-that-hawt-guy-there", i hate browsing thru girly mags and trying to imitate those aneroxic models, drooling eyeballs over latest fashion, trying out latest make up, seriyesly BENCI! Having studied in an all-girl school 80% of my pengajian rendah & menengah, i had enuff of these clones. I do keep in touch with these girls once in a while, who i gladly refer as my social frens.. I need them for my 1,000 name lists of my wedding invitation and get them to buy me wedding gifts and pics snapping on the pelamin sessions. But tell you the truth.. i can't last more than 30 mins hanging out with them.

In case if you wonder, my dear fren...
No, I don't wear short sexy skirts and i don't reveal my cleavage maybe for the fact that i don't have much to show. I don't put on make up maybe for the fact that i have too much coretan di pipi and i don't wish to make my face even more serabut coz dat would make me feel like menconteng arang di muka sendiri. No, i don't go for facial treatments coz it's really painful i tell u it sucks the first time i had it. No, i don't go for hair treatments coz i like my hair the way it is and i got it covered most of the time. If those are the characteria to be a chic and get hitched, thank you very much. I rather not be!

And sometimes i do wonder myself, my dear fren..
Mane la minah2 ni dpt duit nak mantain diri.. Banyak duit siot nak pakai just to satisfy hawa nafsu mata jantan-jantan.. Nak straighten rambut la, bagi bounce la (sampai skang aku tak reti beza straighten & rebonding), medicure, pedicure, gi facial la, fashion updates, make up sebakul, accessories ikut kaler baju lagi.. tu tak masuk contact lense ikut kaler eye shadow.. shehhhssss!! To be frank with you, most of the girls of this category that i know would get sponsorship from their Mr Big. Therefore, please don't ask me if i could bring any hot galfrens along when we go out coz really... i don't have pretty chics to introduce to you or ajak lepak together coz i think most of them are fake and i don't wish to see my frens get fooled by these clones! Either dat, or you'll find that my real girlfrens are not up to your Covergirl standard... and dat would disappoint you, wouldn't it?

And if you must know, my dear fren...
No, mushy and cheesy words don't impress me much. I hate sweet talkers. Oh, and sorry i can't be mengada-ngada and act cheeky... If it kills to be practical, so kill me! I'm a serious bitch, so sue me!

Futhermore, my dear fren...
I'm a tad too old to perasan chic. Just treat me as a fren ok.
That will do me just fine.

Why do i feel these days people take relationship like accessories? Guys want the Coverpage girls and girls want Mr. Big - the wealthy guy to show off to other people.
Everybody's out for fishing competition.. see who gets the biggest catch.
And love is just a word to be used as a bait.

For richer or poorer

I just had a lunch.. i rarely go out for lunch but i decided that i need a decent lunch before Ramadhan comes tomorrow.

While we were enjoying our last lunch before Ramadhan, my friend saw a blind man coming from behind me, with his assistant/guidance (whatever u call her/him). She told me that she didn't want to donate. I know she felt guilty, and didn't want to look vain at the same time. Told her, if you donate half-heartedly, better don't. I gave her an empty look as I, myself rarely donate for blind man, or any beggar as a matter of fact, who walks table to table.

Since i was small, i was taught by my mother not to donate money to these people. Beggar is a harsh word to use, but they beg for money, don't they? These people..Some of them are either partially blind,or they belong in a syndicate that use kids, old women with kids, and disabled people as their modus operandi. If you notice, these people usually come in a taxi or a van or any form of pickup transport provided by their mandur.

When I was still living in JB, if these people came to me, I sometimes talk to them and told them to go to Welfare Depmt as they have allocations for the orphanage, old folks, poor and disabled people. Tapi biasala, ada sesetengah tu..esp the Burmese ni slalu kong ajo, esp budak2. Cam nak sepak2 je rase.

If you lepak long enough at the stalls, you will notice they will come back after about half an hour. They will take turn in about 10-15 minutes (but these days you can see ramai sgt). For whatever reason they are doing it, I personally diss them. I mean, I pity them. Yes. But there are alot of other ways for them to earn decent money, and most importantly earn respect. And the saddest part is that, mostly are Malays. Cover muke sejap! Sedih nengok Melayu camni :( I don't care if you are some MDs or clerks or cleaners, all of them are the same because all of us are trying to make end meets by doing a decent job.

These blindpeople..They maybe unfortunate for not able to see the colours of the world since the day they were born. Or perhaps, on their journey of life. But it's fated, written in the book of God. They need to take a pride in themselves for getting the special place in Hereafter. But that doesn't give them the priviledge to degrade themselves by begging for sympathy while they are still alive. They are only blind, but they still have the energy, and most importantly, brain to think. Apela salahnye enroll themselves in a training center for disabled. There are alot of such centers in this country. In fact, one of my favourite dolly was one made by blind people in JARO. I taught that doll to walk, u know.. so cute! Got fringe and all!

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a strong believer (heks!) dat Malaysians are very generous. I love our community. Indeed. If not,Bersamamu wouldn't be success. If not, our government couldn't bring the Acheh orphanage to this country for adoption. If not, Mercy could be long extint. If not, Ahmad and Mohammad could probably be the real life version of "Stuck On You". If not, Ras Adiba Radzi could never walk again and drive her posh Volvo. All thanks to generous Malaysians.

However, if you really want to donate, please do so at the mosque. Or do a bit more. It doesn't take much of your effort. Just find a welfare center, a family or a person. Just ONE. Donate for that particular subject of your choice that you believe in most need of help. Every month. Tak banyak.. Seguni beras pon takpe. At least you know where your donation gone, and wat it is used for.There are a lot of welfare centers in Malaysia. Opt for the ones that really in need. Most famous orphanage centers have more funds than you think. And the orphans are richer than you. These kids get to attend alot of functions, meet alot of celebrities, get a handful of gifts and duit raya. That's why most orphans prefer to stay at the centers than their own home. Not that i have anything against them or anything...It's a fair share. I know, even though they are showered with gifts and lavish treatments, they are missing the love of their late parent/s.

But have you ever thought of those who refuse or not able to enroll in the centers just because they can't leave their family due to their obligations. At such a young age, they take responsibilities of their parent/s. These kids are the ones that we really need to help. They don't come to you. They don't seek for attention. They don't ask for help. But it's our duty to come to them, care for them and help them.

Choose your donatee. It won't hurt your wallet. And it will never make you a penny poorer.

Lucas said "My life is too short to become a film studio." - CNN

The theatrical Star Wars saga may be winding to a close, but the Force will always be here - into many new and exciting territories - Asia.
What else can I ask for?

I know it's not over yet.
I know it's not the end.
I know there is still a light of hope.
And now it's here... closer to me ;-)

With the return of Jedi Clone Wars, Lucas empire strikes back... bringing a new hope...to ME!!!!

My life's a bore, so why do u even care?

eeyyyyyyy!!!
I just realized that Jigz Dump Site has marked one year of its existence in the alam maya siber.. yeayyyy!!

Antara banyak-banyak, saya suka yang ini - My Remedy, ini pon ok gaks - "No...I said I love you SO MUCH!", Dan Change One Thing, Change Everything slalu wat saye pikir. Ini pon same One of those... of me. Haa.. ini menjadi topik emo kawan-kawan saya - Malacca, that's where my life begins... Tapi saye agak emo dgn yang ni Beauty queen is only sixteen.

Ade lagi ke yang nak fill me in? hehe...

Hmm....
Apesal aku rase cam pathetic je ni? Shit, i need a real life!

beauty queen of only sixteen

Life is the process of finding love,
every person will need to find four people in their life.
First person is yourself,
second person is the one you love most,
third person is the one who love you most,
and the fourth, is the one you spend the rest of your life with.

In life, firstly you will meet the one you love most,
and learn how love feels;
Because you know how love feels,
so you can find the person who love you most;
When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved,
you will then know what it is you need most,
Then you will find the person who is suitable for you,
to be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.
The one you love most, doesn't love you;
The one who love you most, is never the one you love most;
And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you love most
or the one who love you most,
he is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.
So, which person are you in other people's life?

No person will purposely have a change of heart.
At the point in time when he loves you,
he really loves you;
But when he doesn't love you anymore,
he really don't love you anymore;
When he loves you, he can't pretend that he doesn't;
Same goes, when he loves you no more,
there's no way he can pretend he loves you.

When a person doesn't love you and wants to leave you.
You must ask yourself if you still love him,
If you also don't love him anymore,
don't ever not let him leave just to save your pride.

If you still love him, you should wish him happiness,
and hope that he will be with the one he loves most,
not stop him from it.
If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves,
it shows you already don't love him,
And if you don't love him,
what rights do you have to blame him for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive.
If you like the moon,
you can't just take it down and put it in your basin,
But the moonlights will shines upon you.

In other words, when you love a person,
you can use another method of possessing the person.
Let him become a permanent memory in your life.

If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is;
Love him for his good points, and the bad,
You can't wish for him to become like what you like him to be just because you love him.
If he can't change to become what you like him to be, you don't love him anymore.

When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him,
You only know that no matter when and where,
good mood or bad mood,
you will wish to have this person be with you;

Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises and listing criteria's.
In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give him at times,
not always be on the receiving end;
Being away from each other is a type of test,
If the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat.
Real love will never become hate.

When two people are in love,
They love to ask each other to swear, to make promises.
Why do they ask each other to swear and promise?
Because they don't trust each other, they don't trust their lover.

This swears and promises are useless;
Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for you will never change!
We all know that the sky will never fall, the ocean will never dry,
Even if it happens, are we still alive by then?

Be careful when making promises, don't make promises that you cannot keep.
Swear by things that can never happen,
because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually.
Remember, "Swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!!"

In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another;
The one saying, doesn't believe; the one listening, also doesn't believe.

Which person have you found so far?
In the world so big, which person have you found?
And who has found you?

*credits to my gorgeous confidante...who is 12,000 miles away..

So little time..

It's 5:47PM on Saturday evening and I'm blogging away...
*the heck am I doing with a PC on a fine day like this!*
Yes. bebeh! Am at the office.. Working, bebehhhh!

you better work ( cover girl )
work it girl ( give a twirl )
do your thing on the runway
i have one thing to say, sashay shante, shante, shante, shante
i have one thing to say, sashay shante, shante, shante, shante
i have one thing to say ...you better work, bitch !
...singing to myself a la RuPaul (so the very 80s hehe)

Kalau work on runway takpe gaks..Nih keje ngadap PC betulkan network customer.. watpe!
Tsskkkk!! Tskkk!! Shrug my head!

On the other hand, while waiting for the network test result, I screen my blog statistics and suddenly i saw a unique page linking to my site..

http://www.bitemyblog.com/blogdetails.php?blogid=357238
Huhhh?? Wadda heck is dis? I tot I have classified my blog as private?!

Think I'm going to see Qaisara after this la. Miss her so much, wonder if she can talk already. I still couldn't figure out whether I should teach her to call me Auntie or Mak Su. The latter one sounds younger je... hehe.. Yikesss!! Geli geli je..
Well, aby Cha... u can call me Jigz :-P

Dwell in Possibility...

Things that I do when I'm happy:

1. Go shopping
2. A personal treat at Sushi King
3. Indulge in chocolate or ice cream McFlurry Oreo/Sundae Choc
4. Hang out with friends - gelak2, lawak2, kutuk2, pangkah2
5. Listen to noisy and loud music, headbanging and singing on top of my lung like org gile
6. Grin grin grin a la colgate kindergarten schoolteacher
7. Write journal/blog
8. Sleep like a rabbit

Things that I do when I'm sad:

1. Go shopping
2. A personal treat at Sushi King
3. Indulge in chocolate or ice cream McFlurry Oreo/Sundae Choc
4. Hang out with friends - gelak2, lawak2, kutuk2, pangkah2
5. Listen to noisy and loud music in the car, headbanging and singing on top of my lung like org gile
6. Pretend to grin grin grin a la colgate kindergarten schoolteacher
7. Write journal/blog
8. Sleep like a tenuk mati

I do exactly the same thing I would have done when I'm tremedously happy or when I'm down with sadness. That's how I even out my emotions... I'm feeling a little oogie woogie at the moment. I'm lack of soul, i'm lack on esteem. My double jumble feelings is puching my head, beating my brain. I'm numb. Complete numbness. I got no strength at all.. In the state that I'm in. I miss you so much, it hurts.

Wake up and smell the coffee

I don't feel like doing anything today.
I wish I'm not here. I wish I'm not nowhere.
Interstate of mind.. When you're high and fly.

My hands are tied.
My legs are weak.
My heart is frozen.
I'm paralyze...
Because of you.

../tickle me to see this person's display emotikus image.

Izzit a During Menstrual Syndrome (DMS) or izzit a bunga-bunga sentimental day?

It just occur to me..These songs are looping in my playlist in a manner of the following order:

1. Love Song -311
2. Too Lost in You - Sugarbabes
3. The Trouble with Love Is - Kelly Clarkson
4. Secret Lovers - Atlantic Starr
5. Same Script, Different Cast - Deborah Cox & Whitney Houston
6. Menanti Sebuah Jawaban - Padi
7. Give Me One Reason - Tracy Chapman
8. Berhenti Berharap - Sheila on 7
9. Shut Up - The Black Eyed Peas
10. Forget Her - Jeff Buckley

Obviously la these are not the only songs looping in Jigz playlist but ironicly they are queueing up in such story-telling order. Funny, how it could make up a story hehekkss...

And obviously i have that much time, i could analyze my playlist :P

Just a note, LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGINS!!

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah perjalanannya. Panjangkanlah jodohku dengannya. Semoga dia sampai ke bumi tanah airku ini dengan selamat. Amin.

Live for more, alive for the first time

Time is tough, the sea is rough
Be it Nabi storm or Katrina hurricane, I will always stand by you.
I may not be your sugar lady but I'll be there in times when u need me
Just get home safely
I'll be here waiting

Malacca, that's where my life begins

Last nite, like any other Wednesday nite, I went lepakking with my "associates" hehhee.. This time at Nasi Kandar Sedap (it is important to note that the food contradicts with the name. Sungguh tak sedap!!) with a view of a sexy, gorgeous Lamborghini in front of me (uhhh beshnye... slurrppp!!)

I was so sleepy and stoned, as I only had 3 hours of golek2 and non snoozing sleep the nite before. Despite of my zombiness, I dragged my big cute ass to meet them somehow coz Nadz a fren just met with an accident earlier in the evening. N'way, just to release a bit of tension, last nite we just layan cerita2 zaman Alpha.. Ala sebenarnye coz ade junior kot.. When we open book on the Alpha years, each one of the guys has some pointers towards me.. One claimed that he was a nerd and I became his fren just bcoz i needed help in my studies and assignments. Another said dat i didn't even know him, let alone talk to him back then coz i was with the high class clan (tahpehape!). Obviously, I had a hard time trying to justify myself but if that's the role i play in their life, so let be it. Ok la aku pasrah, ape pon yg telah di-trade mark kan utk aku, aku terima seikhlas-ikhlasnya.

Nevertheless, i just wanna re-collect on the things that i really really miss during my Malacca year:

1. The short hair, Natalie look :P
2. Free hostel phone!!
3. Staying alive with full blast energy after dawn dusk and pengsan during daytime.
4. Ghost hunting sessions
5. Watching Laser Disc with the gang (particularly of that Booty Call movie..hahaha wicked!)
6. Me being warded for food poisoning/gastric, then ran away from the hospital on the 2nd day and 3 hours later i was back on the hospital bed :( *deepest love and appreciation to my frens who sent me to the hospital, visited (sampai sanggup sneak in), took care of me, and buat riot kat ward*
7. Girl nite out at Equatorial, pampered with lotsa pizza and cheese cakes ;-)
8. Supper at Daud seriyesssss!!
9. Nine (tah apsal tah Zach letak name Nine pastu dah tukar nama dah) GREASE!
10. Food hunting! My mom said i was at my chubbiest mode when i was in Malacca. Seriyes food kat Melaka sedap nak mampos! Nyum nyum nyummm...
11. Hanging out and playing beach soccer at Pantai Klebang.
12. A road trip MLK(BBQ)-KL(Supper@Bangsar)-KLIA(Breakfast)-MLK(Lunch)-JB(Dinner) all in a day. AKA a frenship trip to visit Amy yang chicken pox hihii
13. Those adventurous JB-Mlk trips on Babarthe's Honda Civic yang lantai berlubang leh nampak jalan n sampai2 hostel engine terus berasap; and also my Charade yang dengan jayanya menghantar kawan-kawanku pulang beraya di KL tetapi mengaku kalah di Kajang on d way to JB yang menyebabkan Filza and i stranded at KL just few days before Raya. hukss...
14. The Cyber trips and ZERO Party.
15. And the most most importantly... Those crazy frens, and all other crazy things that we did.. Also the games - belon acah (aka galah panjang), suck and kiss, card tricks, telur&tepung war, cake bashing, BBQ... (cepat, ape lagi yg i nak kene senaraikan ni?)

Ok, that's enough! If i were to list everything, i need to make a journal instead..

During my FOSEE year, everyday was a joyful day. Seriously..I love every single bit of it.. Life in uni was all about fun fun fun. The best part is that we don't have to party hard and be wild to just to have a blast. Just doing those stupid activities, which mostly does not require us to fork out our money... We were so restless.. i miss those times. Life has been creeping up on us so badly that we dont have time to spend together like the younger years (mcm dah tua sgt je).

If my emotions were a bank, I might be feeling just a touch overdrawn right now. It's always nice to feel a little nostalgia for days of yore, but it doesn't mean that I want to stay stuck in the past. Those are just memories that I love to cherish.

AND, in 24 hours - jojie's home!!! Yeayyyy... (alaa.. if it's u who's coming back, i definitely put ur name pulak. So pengajaran - GO ABROAD and BE MISSED!)

To dear frens, though this entry created much of a back-fire towards me, i won't comply to your request of putting everyone's name :-P (saya mempunyai kawan-kawan yang teramat emo apabila nama-nama mereka tidak diglamerkan. Kenapa ek?). Even though I am still quite at my emo mode (the "invitation conflict" case is NOT OVER yet, ppl! + my much-hated-absence of yesterday's get-together *sob* *sob*) but just wanna let u know that i truly truly cherish and appreciate your frenship *big hug~!* (eeekkkk.. jiwang la plak! geli jek!). Ada org menyampah if i talk about this 'friendship bond'. I don't say sweet things often, so beat it my fren! Nasib la, my blog - my territory.

Updated: 13 Sept 05 -> karena aku kalah dengan bullet-bullet mereka di kala ku keseorangan berjuang di medan perang Malacca Entry. Demmm!

Penantian Suatu Penyiksaan

Menanti Sebuah Jawaban
by Padi

Aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu
Dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu
Seiring jejak kakiku bergetar
Aku tak terpagut oleh cintamu
Menelusup hariku dengan harapan
Namun kau masih terdiam membisu

Sepenuhnya aku ingin memelukmu
Mendekap penuh harapan 'tuk mencintaimu
Setulusnya aku akan terus menunggu
Menanti sebuah jawaban 'tuk memilikimu

Betapa piluhnya rindu menusuk jiwaku
Semoga kau tahu isi hatiku
Dan seiring waktu yang terus berputar
Aku masih terhanyut dalam mimpiku

I just wanna be with you, whatever it may cost...

Friday I'm in love...*wink*

I, Jigz hereby announce that I have a confession to make. I have a new love interest. I'm in love with someone I've never met before. My baby will be coming to town by end of the month...insyaAllah. I pray hard. I can't wait. Uhhh, I'm so in love...

True Blue

As nostalgic as you're feeling at the moment, it would be easy to let yourself get down in the dumps. But what purpose would that serve? We all think there's something we'd do differently if we had the chance, but why dwell on changing the past? Everything you've ever done has made you the person you are today. Be glad for everything that's happened, good and bad, and look to the future. Life couldn't be more beautiful than this... Ermm, yes it can, i know but praise the Lord for all that He've given me.

*Credits to my wonderful new home and the lovely people who live in it... and the very big swimming pool besh beshhhh!! And ice-cream and curry puff IKEA and OU and Spaghetti Bolognese @ Tmn Megah and the cute guys who lives around the area hehhee (Chickflick!)

Sometimes when we think we want so much in life, we tend to forget the lovely and beautiful things that we have around us. We tend to take things for granted. Guilty as charged! I used to chase so many things. I tend to run faster than my mind could take. Eventually I get tired and I stopped. I walked slowly. I just don't want to run and chase life anymore. It's endless. I just want to enjoy the scenery and smell the roses. Even if I don't reach the paradise that I long desire, I hope that I still feel content with the life I'm living now. I need to appreciate the small things in life. Those are the ones that really matter.

I don't regret my journey so far. Tho I may have lost and found (hiks) alot of wonderful things along the way, I am so grateful that at least I'm given the chance to taste them.

I know I talk about this alot but really... I need to find balance of life and what it means to be alive.

"Lift your chin up and just walk ahead."

I'm alive bebehhhh!!!

Yeayyyyy!! I finally came back to life! Mama miaa!!
My Y! Msgr got up from sleep and came back to life.. muahh muahhh muahhh... feels like hugging and kissing sumbody.. I'm so excited i wanna celebrate...
Kalau rasa gumbira, belly dancing! Yeah! yeah! Kalau rasa gumbira, belly dancing! Yeah! Yeah!Kalau rasa gumbira, beginilah caranya.. Kalau rasa gumbira, belly dancing!!
Hahaa... freak! Terasa poyo gila! I dont care, seeing those yellow smileys and getting those blinking orange windows makes me feel connected to the world. Been living in the dark side of the world for the past 2 months, only God knows how it dooms me to bore-kingdom.

But i dont like the new Y! Msgr version.. the voice add-on features and some other craps just menyemak jerk. But who cares anyway! As long as i'm alive!!

On the other note...
NO! I'm not a big fan of AF or those Mawi WORLD! die hard freak! Seriously aku anti+benci+menyampah tahap gaban dgn AF. Sungguh mengecewakan hidup sebagai Malaysian yang fanatik dengan cheap reality shows like this.. Then sumbody sent me email pics of Mawi n Felix di ASTRO (wtf?) earlier today and i can't stop laughing my ass off with this guy's kata2 nasihat autograph kepada peminat setia...

Can you read that? He's probably the 1st celebrity who gives such advice... bagusssss!! I have a more direct phrase in my head that i couldn't possibly shout it out loud in here.. tak sesuwayyy utk budak2.. hahahhaha..

Angeldust...

There's a sadness in the laughter
a dullness in the glow
a tremor in the psyche-
that could only be seen by the one behold

The wound festers in silence
as I intently listen on
trying to grasp the hidden meanings
of the tears and its lonely song.

No sweet darling, you shouldn't cry
For what has happened is good for you both

You need to talk, I know you do
I can see it in your eyes
There's a sadness deep inside of you
One you can't disguise

It comes and goes but is always there
Can you share with me?
I want to know what hurts you so
Whatever can it be?

:(