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Thursday, December 30, 2004

Change one thing, change everyting

"a flip of a butterfly wing can turns into torpedo in the other parts of the world"

I watched Butterfly Effect last nite.

Fieya watched it the other nite and she said the movie was so psycho she couldn't sleep the whole nite.. hmm, talking about butterfly effect.

Yes, i couldn't sleep last nite neither.Not because the film is so psycho it scares me. No. Because it made me think, what if we really could change the past, or even the future? Will it be a better world? Or at least a better life for me?

The film is about a young man, Evan Treborns (Ashton Kutcher) blacks out at every traumatic incident in his childhood life. So, when he was 7, his doctor advised him to write a journal as memory exercises. When he's at college, he finds a technique that allows him to travel back into the past, to occupy his childhood body and change history - by reading his journal. However, he soon finds that every change he makes has unexpected consequence that eventually change everything that follows. As he tries to rewrite the history time and time again, he starts to lose grip of reality. His desperation grows deeper each time he changes the past. And he finally finds an easy way out.

The ending of the movie is quite disappointing tho. No, sorry.. the ending was unexpected. None of those oh-it-was-just-a-dream ending but the scripwriter has came out with a better gimmick than that! It's the choice that the character Evan made at the end of the movie disappoints me. I respect Evan with the fact that everytime he realises that things didn't turn out right for his mother or one of his friends, he travels back to his childhood and tries to change the history. He wants to make everything perfect for every one that matters in his life. But, no my dear, that does not happen in the real world. As much as he did not want anything bad happen to his love ones and made such sacrifices but not everything comes in one box. Even in one person, there's at least a flaw. She is pretty but she's such a bitch! His guy is handsome and romantic but too possessive. Urgh! He's quite cute and smart, but he's just too thin. She's a hot mama but such a kluts. No one's perfect, ever heard of that?

And after watching the movie, i kept thinking of consequences that we have encountered in our life. What if i go to that uni, not this? Will i still be having the kind of friends that i have now? Am i going to know him somehow? Only if i take the right turn instead of left, that accident could be avoided. Only if my sister locked the steering of her car, it wouldn't get stolen. What if I submitted the resign letter that day, would i be better off somewhere? There's a lot of "what if"s and "only if"s in life that we somehow wish to turn back to the time of events.
I am glad that alot of things happen to me, there are some i dont even want to remember some i dont want to forget. There are times that i wish some things didn't happen and there are times that i wish some things will never end. But i do not wish i could turn back the time. Coz time passes by is all about possibilities and making choices of every second of our life.

And i curse Evan for being a quitter, even before he made it to the real world. He missed all the opportunities he could have simply by
being a such a coward, and i pity him for that. He should have just live the life. For better or worse.

"My mom always said, life is like a box of chocolate, u never know what you gonna get"

Forrest Gump

Evan probably have never heard of this phrase, that's why he never dare to take the possibilities of life. hehe

Thursday, December 23, 2004


Yeayyyy!! Wohoooo~
My blog is no longer at its disadvantage.
I've downloaded Firefox Mozilla and everything's looking just fine!

Hmm.. lemme try sumthing

Image Hosted by

Credits to dee for being my Blog Helper!

My blog is handicap!

I just got to know that my blog does not have the necessary features that by right every blog should have.

My blog does not have a font style toolbar!! I got to know it when i ask my fren on how to change font style for certain words in a post. She told me that it can be done with one click at the mini toolbar when i create a post. I was like, "what?? There's no toolbar at all in my blogger page". She print screen her blogger page and sent it to me. And there you go, now i know why i'm such a loser in blogging.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

It is worth the $3m to take the risk?

A friend told me yesterday that he got an email from a US citizen who he never met before. In the email, the person requested for my fren's account number as he plans to transfer some money to the account. My friend, being curious and suspicious, he did not comply to the request but leave his mobile number instead. To his surprise, not long after, he got a call from the sender of the email.

Through the phone call, the guy explained to my fren of his intention. According to this guy, he's working with a bank in US which my fren mentioned to me but i've forgotten of the name. His work requires him to monitor bank accounts and he came across this particular account that has been remain inactive for the past 10 years so he started investigation on the account holder. He has found out that the account holder died 10 years ago and left a fortune in his account. It's USD$30millions worth of fortune! hmmm.. what a "miss-fortune-ate" dead guy!

This guy claims that he is also an Asian and he believes that Asean is the safest region to transfer the money. This is why he selected my friend and proposed the collaboration arrangement. If my friend agrees, the guy will seek advise from his attorney and prepare for the agreement document prior to him coming down to Malaysia next month. He will meet my fren to table out the modus operandi and arrangement of the plan. With the agreement, the guy will transfer the whole sum of money to my fren's account. My friend then needs to transfer the money to this guy and take 10% of the fortune for himself. That's USD$3millions, my friend! Wow~ I can live my whole life with that!

So my friend came to me for a piece of advice.
I told him:

  1. I have heard a story like this before, but never to the extend that the person would personally call and proposed to meet. So i am not sure of the reliability/seriousness of the guy.
  2. If he really has the ball to do it, first he needs to check our Bank Negara Malaysia policy on the transfer of foreign currency to local account, esp individual account.
  3. He also needs to check the max amount of money allowed to be transfered, and if he needs to declare the money.
  4. And if he really really wants to do it, it is better to break the money into smaller portions and spread it into different accounts so it would not look obvious.
  5. Is the guy trustworthy? If u really wants to meet him, meet him at a crowded place. A cafe at KLCC looks like a good option.
  6. I dont think anyone would willingly to give 10% of his fortune, if it's not risky at all. 10% is a very high share as an agent (that's what i call him of this modus operandi).
  7. The risk remains with him until infinity. This is because the bank system will always see his account of the transfer activity. Not the master mind's. The risk is always his. If the US authority finds out. He'll be the one getting it.
  8. Yes, USD$3m is an unresistable tempation but this is kerja gila and it is definitely a NO-NO.

But my fren instist on giving it a shot. So he plans to meet the guy next month and see how it goes from there.
And i said, "Good Luck!"

And just for a though.. when i gave him those ideas, i already feel like i have a mind of a criminal. Kewl!

Friday, December 17, 2004

Bullshitting around!

I had a little conversation with a friend. About love and life. About to disclose mine. Yeah, whatever!
Credit to a friend who wants to remain anonymous. hehe..

jigz_og: do we have cherry blossom in m'sia?
friend: apa tu
friend: i baru google
friend: mak ai
friend: ade ke kat msia
friend: cam takdeee je
jigz_og: hihi
jigz_og: what is that white little flowers that we have
jigz_og: imagine an open field?
friend: mmg la lawa jigz
friend: pegi la jepun ke apa
jigz_og: hmmm
jigz_og: i saw it in hindustan movies
jigz_og: wonder if we have them here
jigz_og: :-?
friend: highly doubt it la jigz

friend: u banyak change ke skang jigz?
jigz_og: cant say much
jigz_og: :-S
jigz_og: kdg2 terasa gaks la
friend: terasa apa
jigz_og: tapi tah.. biase je kot
friend: ei
friend: sometimes kan
friend: i dont get la u ngan **** nye status... cam slalu la wondering... apa benda sebenarnye ni
friend: hehe
jigz_og: status ape?
friend: cam
friend: couple kan diorang ni
friend: tapi apsal tak nampak cam couple je
friend: cam tu la
jigz_og: :))
friend: ye la.. makes me wonder like... whats the point?
friend: hehe
jigz_og: cant' agree more.
jigz_og: i do wonder myself
jigz_og: hmmm :-?
friend: ei
friend: ur the insider la
friend: insider mana ade wonder sume
friend: sbb tahu sume info
friend: hehe
jigz_og: susah nk ckp la
jigz_og: i only have 1/2 the info
jigz_og: make sense?
friend: hmm
friend: betul betul
jigz_og: :-B
friend: kekadang ade org tanye la
friend: i was like
friend: ntah le
friend: aku pon tak paham
friend: ko tanye sendiri lah
jigz_og: yeah?
jigz_og: sape la agaknye tu yg tanye ye
friend: cant remember la
friend: not like baru tanye ke apa
friend: just dah a few times le
friend: sume i jawab tatau
friend: u tak de intention nak sort it out ke?
jigz_og: ade gaks
jigz_og: tapi takde solution
friend: alaa
friend: dulu i pernah tanye
friend: tapi die cam malas nak layan
friend: so i malas nak tanye dah
friend: so iwas like...oo .. okk
friend: hehe
jigz_og: hmm probably
jigz_og: tak larat nak pk
jigz_og: so.. i really dont have answer to ur wondering
friend: wastedla jigz
jigz_og: ape yg wasted?
friend: ye laa
friend: tapi u tak rasa wasted ke camni?
jigz_og: rase gak
friend: cam ur not really living ur life
jigz_og: so rather than tackling the problem, i let it be
friend: and clearly its not working kan jigz
friend: nothing's happening
jigz_og: btw
jigz_og: what really is definition of couple?
jigz_og: ade stereotype ke?
friend: adoi
friend: do u really need to be intellectual ke jigz
friend: the point is do u feel like ur having a bf or not
friend: hehe
jigz_og: hmm
friend: takde la
friend: hish
friend: its ur life jigz
friend: u prefer
friend: ur emotion stable cam tu je ke
friend: or dia vary la
friend: cam kalau happy .. happy gile
friend: sedih.. sedih gile
friend: if like..u r avoiding all the time.. stable la.. tapi no high and low la
friend: sameeeee je
jigz_og: hmmm yeps
jigz_og: i rase as long as things are ok
jigz_og: i dont want to provoke anything
friend: play it safe eh jigz
friend: like i told u
friend: its ur life
friend: u know it better than anyone else
friend: so its ur call la
friend: hehe
jigz_og: usually kan
jigz_og: what we thought best for us might not be so
jigz_og: coz we never look at it outside our circle
jigz_og: we close our ears to what ppl say
jigz_og: coz we surrender to what we have or at least believe it's the best thing we have
jigz_og: but not so!
friend: not we jigz
friend: u
friend: u can only speak for ur self
friend: hehe
jigz_og: demmm
jigz_og: right to my face! ouchh!!
friend: hmmm
friend: marriage mmg jauh la dari u nye planning?
jigz_og: ermm
jigz_og: kalau ikut perasaan i
jigz_og: takde la jauh pon
jigz_og: but bcoz i dont have calon/the available calon is not so prepared for one
jigz_og: so like do i have a choice?
friend: hehehe
friend: u always have a choice
jigz_og: huksss
friend: betol la kan
friend: what ever situation i'm in right now
jigz_og: not as easy as that
friend: its because of the choices i made
friend: obviously la not easy.. but its true.. u always have a choice
friend: but by choosing the easy way out like i always did.. nothing's gonna change la
friend: same ol same ol
friend: hehe
jigz_og: hmm point to ponder
jigz_og: tetibe rase sedih
jigz_og: :(
friend: hmmm
friend: just being intellectual and pondering ,,, analyzing.. still wont get u nowhere
friend: that i know for sure cause i do that all the time
friend: analyze memanjang
jigz_og: but no action taken
jigz_og: but action without proper solution pon tak guna gak
friend: the point is
friend: u wont know whats proper or not until u get the results
friend: i cant sit down and think about it la
friend: but what usually happen is .. thats all that i did
jigz_og: i cant think anymore
jigz_og: that's why i stop thinking about it
jigz_og: even if i do anything about it
jigz_og: it definitely dont get me anywhere
jigz_og: bottom line is
friend: u sure about that?
jigz_og: i dont even know the $%^# i'm talking about
jigz_og: :((
jigz_og: tak tauuuu
friend: fuck jigz
friend: just spell it properly
friend: hehe
friend: i wont mind
friend: hehehe
jigz_og: hahha
jigz_og: i do mind :P
friend: hehehe
friend: so after pondering it for like 1 hour
friend: still nothing's gonna change la kan
friend: hehe
jigz_og: as usual
friend: the only thing u get is something to write kat ur blog
jigz_og: ehhe
jigz_og: :))
jigz_og: demm
jigz_og: u screw it!
friend: hehe
jigz_og: i want to post the whole conversation to my blog
friend: hehehe
friend: thats gonna be fun
friend: hehe

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Let's get carried away

"Let's get carried away" I quote this from my chat fren's status msg on YM.

The phrase caught me attention.
I was f**kin busy with work lately, i dont even have time to breath easy. I couldn't even remember when was the last time i went down for a good lunch.

Yeah, let's get carried away i said.
So here i am. In the midst of being miss bz bee, i just feel that it's worth to get carried away for a while *wink*

I imagine myself at a mountain lake... with him. It's a crisp cool, calm day. Peaceful, so relaxing. The surrounding is so splendid. It's summer. It's always summer in this country. The beautiful scenery of mountain beds behind us with its nearly perfect conical profile and wide-flowing skirts. It is beautified more with rows of fresh green pine trees at the feet of the mountains. Cherry blossoms and white flower flakes surrounding the lake. Yeah, there's no cherry blossom in Malaysia but i can have whatever i want in my imagination.

As quoted in Sojourn Online, Japanese view of life as reflected in the cherry blossoms. The blossoms are exquisitely beautiful, but fragile and short lived. Within days they’ve fluttered down to the ground, trampled and spoiled in the dirt.
The Japanese see life the same way. Youth, beauty, and happiness are gone before we know it. Like cherry blossoms, the petals of our life fade and disappear just as we recognize our blossom’s beauty. Life is short. Not a happy thought, but because life is short we should enjoy it while we can. The touch of melancholy usually gets washed away in the “life is short, enjoy it while you can” portion of the philosophy.

We paddled away in a wooden boat. Floated and lost in the middle of the lake. The weather is just refreshing... Ahh, so perfect! The wind smoothly kisses my cheek and play with my long straight hair. He placed his fishing rod nicely at the center of the boat and tighten the end with a wire attached to the flat-wooden seat of the boat. Once in a while the rod moves a little, signalling that his bait probably gets its victim. He, somehow doesn't seem to be attracted to those fishes in the lake. We just don't care, really.. Just let the boat float. We talk, sometimes laugh, at times it only silence fills the air, admiring the magnificient scenery and praising God for being able to loved and be loved. And for such a wonderful moment.. even for a moment.

For a while, we forget about the world, we leave all the worries behind. Life is too good to be wasted, like the Japanese said. Let's get carried away, as long as the boat dont sink.

Monday, December 06, 2004

When the mind and heart collides

It's noisy around here. The sound of my own racing thoughts add to the psychic decibel level. With too many sounds running around in my head, not too mention those came in thru the ears make it difficult for me to listen carefully and tentatively to each of the thoughts that requires (READ: yearn for) my attention.. Argghh.. Clear communication (inside the head) is critical when i'm in this situation.

The most difficult part is to separate the realistic ones and not. For some thoughts is derived from the heart, and some are from the mind.

God gives us, human, the greatest gift his ceation could ever wish for. BRAIN.. AKAL. The ability to THINK. It is the most precious treasure that is trusted to us that is not given to any other creature. Only human. Unlike other organs (even heart), brain is not exchangable, nor transferable. If the brain is dead, it's dead. When a man is in brain-dead condition, he's medically correct to be pronounced - dead (like the late Yasser Araffat).

The fact is that, we all are, at larger part, usually governs by the heart. Yes, of course people could debate me over this. We think with our brain, but the biggest influence in making decision is often the emotion.This is a common syndrome not many realize. Me myself, find it difficult to defeat emotion.

I dont mean by saying so, we should neglect the emotion at any expense, and act only what the mind suggests. Just if the heart and mind collides, think it over... and again...