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Thursday, December 30, 2004

Change one thing, change everyting

"a flip of a butterfly wing can turns into torpedo in the other parts of the world"

I watched Butterfly Effect last nite.

Fieya watched it the other nite and she said the movie was so psycho she couldn't sleep the whole nite.. hmm, talking about butterfly effect.

Yes, i couldn't sleep last nite neither.Not because the film is so psycho it scares me. No. Because it made me think, what if we really could change the past, or even the future? Will it be a better world? Or at least a better life for me?

The film is about a young man, Evan Treborns (Ashton Kutcher) blacks out at every traumatic incident in his childhood life. So, when he was 7, his doctor advised him to write a journal as memory exercises. When he's at college, he finds a technique that allows him to travel back into the past, to occupy his childhood body and change history - by reading his journal. However, he soon finds that every change he makes has unexpected consequence that eventually change everything that follows. As he tries to rewrite the history time and time again, he starts to lose grip of reality. His desperation grows deeper each time he changes the past. And he finally finds an easy way out.

The ending of the movie is quite disappointing tho. No, sorry.. the ending was unexpected. None of those oh-it-was-just-a-dream ending but the scripwriter has came out with a better gimmick than that! It's the choice that the character Evan made at the end of the movie disappoints me. I respect Evan with the fact that everytime he realises that things didn't turn out right for his mother or one of his friends, he travels back to his childhood and tries to change the history. He wants to make everything perfect for every one that matters in his life. But, no my dear, that does not happen in the real world. As much as he did not want anything bad happen to his love ones and made such sacrifices but not everything comes in one box. Even in one person, there's at least a flaw. She is pretty but she's such a bitch! His guy is handsome and romantic but too possessive. Urgh! He's quite cute and smart, but he's just too thin. She's a hot mama but such a kluts. No one's perfect, ever heard of that?

And after watching the movie, i kept thinking of consequences that we have encountered in our life. What if i go to that uni, not this? Will i still be having the kind of friends that i have now? Am i going to know him somehow? Only if i take the right turn instead of left, that accident could be avoided. Only if my sister locked the steering of her car, it wouldn't get stolen. What if I submitted the resign letter that day, would i be better off somewhere? There's a lot of "what if"s and "only if"s in life that we somehow wish to turn back to the time of events.
I am glad that alot of things happen to me, there are some i dont even want to remember some i dont want to forget. There are times that i wish some things didn't happen and there are times that i wish some things will never end. But i do not wish i could turn back the time. Coz time passes by is all about possibilities and making choices of every second of our life.

And i curse Evan for being a quitter, even before he made it to the real world. He missed all the opportunities he could have simply by
being a such a coward, and i pity him for that. He should have just live the life. For better or worse.

"My mom always said, life is like a box of chocolate, u never know what you gonna get"

Forrest Gump

Evan probably have never heard of this phrase, that's why he never dare to take the possibilities of life. hehe

Thursday, December 23, 2004


Yeayyyy!! Wohoooo~
My blog is no longer at its disadvantage.
I've downloaded Firefox Mozilla and everything's looking just fine!

Hmm.. lemme try sumthing

Image Hosted by

Credits to dee for being my Blog Helper!

My blog is handicap!

I just got to know that my blog does not have the necessary features that by right every blog should have.

My blog does not have a font style toolbar!! I got to know it when i ask my fren on how to change font style for certain words in a post. She told me that it can be done with one click at the mini toolbar when i create a post. I was like, "what?? There's no toolbar at all in my blogger page". She print screen her blogger page and sent it to me. And there you go, now i know why i'm such a loser in blogging.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

It is worth the $3m to take the risk?

A friend told me yesterday that he got an email from a US citizen who he never met before. In the email, the person requested for my fren's account number as he plans to transfer some money to the account. My friend, being curious and suspicious, he did not comply to the request but leave his mobile number instead. To his surprise, not long after, he got a call from the sender of the email.

Through the phone call, the guy explained to my fren of his intention. According to this guy, he's working with a bank in US which my fren mentioned to me but i've forgotten of the name. His work requires him to monitor bank accounts and he came across this particular account that has been remain inactive for the past 10 years so he started investigation on the account holder. He has found out that the account holder died 10 years ago and left a fortune in his account. It's USD$30millions worth of fortune! hmmm.. what a "miss-fortune-ate" dead guy!

This guy claims that he is also an Asian and he believes that Asean is the safest region to transfer the money. This is why he selected my friend and proposed the collaboration arrangement. If my friend agrees, the guy will seek advise from his attorney and prepare for the agreement document prior to him coming down to Malaysia next month. He will meet my fren to table out the modus operandi and arrangement of the plan. With the agreement, the guy will transfer the whole sum of money to my fren's account. My friend then needs to transfer the money to this guy and take 10% of the fortune for himself. That's USD$3millions, my friend! Wow~ I can live my whole life with that!

So my friend came to me for a piece of advice.
I told him:

  1. I have heard a story like this before, but never to the extend that the person would personally call and proposed to meet. So i am not sure of the reliability/seriousness of the guy.
  2. If he really has the ball to do it, first he needs to check our Bank Negara Malaysia policy on the transfer of foreign currency to local account, esp individual account.
  3. He also needs to check the max amount of money allowed to be transfered, and if he needs to declare the money.
  4. And if he really really wants to do it, it is better to break the money into smaller portions and spread it into different accounts so it would not look obvious.
  5. Is the guy trustworthy? If u really wants to meet him, meet him at a crowded place. A cafe at KLCC looks like a good option.
  6. I dont think anyone would willingly to give 10% of his fortune, if it's not risky at all. 10% is a very high share as an agent (that's what i call him of this modus operandi).
  7. The risk remains with him until infinity. This is because the bank system will always see his account of the transfer activity. Not the master mind's. The risk is always his. If the US authority finds out. He'll be the one getting it.
  8. Yes, USD$3m is an unresistable tempation but this is kerja gila and it is definitely a NO-NO.

But my fren instist on giving it a shot. So he plans to meet the guy next month and see how it goes from there.
And i said, "Good Luck!"

And just for a though.. when i gave him those ideas, i already feel like i have a mind of a criminal. Kewl!

Friday, December 17, 2004

Bullshitting around!

I had a little conversation with a friend. About love and life. About to disclose mine. Yeah, whatever!
Credit to a friend who wants to remain anonymous. hehe..

jigz_og: do we have cherry blossom in m'sia?
friend: apa tu
friend: i baru google
friend: mak ai
friend: ade ke kat msia
friend: cam takdeee je
jigz_og: hihi
jigz_og: what is that white little flowers that we have
jigz_og: imagine an open field?
friend: mmg la lawa jigz
friend: pegi la jepun ke apa
jigz_og: hmmm
jigz_og: i saw it in hindustan movies
jigz_og: wonder if we have them here
jigz_og: :-?
friend: highly doubt it la jigz

friend: u banyak change ke skang jigz?
jigz_og: cant say much
jigz_og: :-S
jigz_og: kdg2 terasa gaks la
friend: terasa apa
jigz_og: tapi tah.. biase je kot
friend: ei
friend: sometimes kan
friend: i dont get la u ngan **** nye status... cam slalu la wondering... apa benda sebenarnye ni
friend: hehe
jigz_og: status ape?
friend: cam
friend: couple kan diorang ni
friend: tapi apsal tak nampak cam couple je
friend: cam tu la
jigz_og: :))
friend: ye la.. makes me wonder like... whats the point?
friend: hehe
jigz_og: cant' agree more.
jigz_og: i do wonder myself
jigz_og: hmmm :-?
friend: ei
friend: ur the insider la
friend: insider mana ade wonder sume
friend: sbb tahu sume info
friend: hehe
jigz_og: susah nk ckp la
jigz_og: i only have 1/2 the info
jigz_og: make sense?
friend: hmm
friend: betul betul
jigz_og: :-B
friend: kekadang ade org tanye la
friend: i was like
friend: ntah le
friend: aku pon tak paham
friend: ko tanye sendiri lah
jigz_og: yeah?
jigz_og: sape la agaknye tu yg tanye ye
friend: cant remember la
friend: not like baru tanye ke apa
friend: just dah a few times le
friend: sume i jawab tatau
friend: u tak de intention nak sort it out ke?
jigz_og: ade gaks
jigz_og: tapi takde solution
friend: alaa
friend: dulu i pernah tanye
friend: tapi die cam malas nak layan
friend: so i malas nak tanye dah
friend: so iwas like...oo .. okk
friend: hehe
jigz_og: hmm probably
jigz_og: tak larat nak pk
jigz_og: so.. i really dont have answer to ur wondering
friend: wastedla jigz
jigz_og: ape yg wasted?
friend: ye laa
friend: tapi u tak rasa wasted ke camni?
jigz_og: rase gak
friend: cam ur not really living ur life
jigz_og: so rather than tackling the problem, i let it be
friend: and clearly its not working kan jigz
friend: nothing's happening
jigz_og: btw
jigz_og: what really is definition of couple?
jigz_og: ade stereotype ke?
friend: adoi
friend: do u really need to be intellectual ke jigz
friend: the point is do u feel like ur having a bf or not
friend: hehe
jigz_og: hmm
friend: takde la
friend: hish
friend: its ur life jigz
friend: u prefer
friend: ur emotion stable cam tu je ke
friend: or dia vary la
friend: cam kalau happy .. happy gile
friend: sedih.. sedih gile
friend: if like..u r avoiding all the time.. stable la.. tapi no high and low la
friend: sameeeee je
jigz_og: hmmm yeps
jigz_og: i rase as long as things are ok
jigz_og: i dont want to provoke anything
friend: play it safe eh jigz
friend: like i told u
friend: its ur life
friend: u know it better than anyone else
friend: so its ur call la
friend: hehe
jigz_og: usually kan
jigz_og: what we thought best for us might not be so
jigz_og: coz we never look at it outside our circle
jigz_og: we close our ears to what ppl say
jigz_og: coz we surrender to what we have or at least believe it's the best thing we have
jigz_og: but not so!
friend: not we jigz
friend: u
friend: u can only speak for ur self
friend: hehe
jigz_og: demmm
jigz_og: right to my face! ouchh!!
friend: hmmm
friend: marriage mmg jauh la dari u nye planning?
jigz_og: ermm
jigz_og: kalau ikut perasaan i
jigz_og: takde la jauh pon
jigz_og: but bcoz i dont have calon/the available calon is not so prepared for one
jigz_og: so like do i have a choice?
friend: hehehe
friend: u always have a choice
jigz_og: huksss
friend: betol la kan
friend: what ever situation i'm in right now
jigz_og: not as easy as that
friend: its because of the choices i made
friend: obviously la not easy.. but its true.. u always have a choice
friend: but by choosing the easy way out like i always did.. nothing's gonna change la
friend: same ol same ol
friend: hehe
jigz_og: hmm point to ponder
jigz_og: tetibe rase sedih
jigz_og: :(
friend: hmmm
friend: just being intellectual and pondering ,,, analyzing.. still wont get u nowhere
friend: that i know for sure cause i do that all the time
friend: analyze memanjang
jigz_og: but no action taken
jigz_og: but action without proper solution pon tak guna gak
friend: the point is
friend: u wont know whats proper or not until u get the results
friend: i cant sit down and think about it la
friend: but what usually happen is .. thats all that i did
jigz_og: i cant think anymore
jigz_og: that's why i stop thinking about it
jigz_og: even if i do anything about it
jigz_og: it definitely dont get me anywhere
jigz_og: bottom line is
friend: u sure about that?
jigz_og: i dont even know the $%^# i'm talking about
jigz_og: :((
jigz_og: tak tauuuu
friend: fuck jigz
friend: just spell it properly
friend: hehe
friend: i wont mind
friend: hehehe
jigz_og: hahha
jigz_og: i do mind :P
friend: hehehe
friend: so after pondering it for like 1 hour
friend: still nothing's gonna change la kan
friend: hehe
jigz_og: as usual
friend: the only thing u get is something to write kat ur blog
jigz_og: ehhe
jigz_og: :))
jigz_og: demm
jigz_og: u screw it!
friend: hehe
jigz_og: i want to post the whole conversation to my blog
friend: hehehe
friend: thats gonna be fun
friend: hehe

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Let's get carried away

"Let's get carried away" I quote this from my chat fren's status msg on YM.

The phrase caught me attention.
I was f**kin busy with work lately, i dont even have time to breath easy. I couldn't even remember when was the last time i went down for a good lunch.

Yeah, let's get carried away i said.
So here i am. In the midst of being miss bz bee, i just feel that it's worth to get carried away for a while *wink*

I imagine myself at a mountain lake... with him. It's a crisp cool, calm day. Peaceful, so relaxing. The surrounding is so splendid. It's summer. It's always summer in this country. The beautiful scenery of mountain beds behind us with its nearly perfect conical profile and wide-flowing skirts. It is beautified more with rows of fresh green pine trees at the feet of the mountains. Cherry blossoms and white flower flakes surrounding the lake. Yeah, there's no cherry blossom in Malaysia but i can have whatever i want in my imagination.

As quoted in Sojourn Online, Japanese view of life as reflected in the cherry blossoms. The blossoms are exquisitely beautiful, but fragile and short lived. Within days they’ve fluttered down to the ground, trampled and spoiled in the dirt.
The Japanese see life the same way. Youth, beauty, and happiness are gone before we know it. Like cherry blossoms, the petals of our life fade and disappear just as we recognize our blossom’s beauty. Life is short. Not a happy thought, but because life is short we should enjoy it while we can. The touch of melancholy usually gets washed away in the “life is short, enjoy it while you can” portion of the philosophy.

We paddled away in a wooden boat. Floated and lost in the middle of the lake. The weather is just refreshing... Ahh, so perfect! The wind smoothly kisses my cheek and play with my long straight hair. He placed his fishing rod nicely at the center of the boat and tighten the end with a wire attached to the flat-wooden seat of the boat. Once in a while the rod moves a little, signalling that his bait probably gets its victim. He, somehow doesn't seem to be attracted to those fishes in the lake. We just don't care, really.. Just let the boat float. We talk, sometimes laugh, at times it only silence fills the air, admiring the magnificient scenery and praising God for being able to loved and be loved. And for such a wonderful moment.. even for a moment.

For a while, we forget about the world, we leave all the worries behind. Life is too good to be wasted, like the Japanese said. Let's get carried away, as long as the boat dont sink.

Monday, December 06, 2004

When the mind and heart collides

It's noisy around here. The sound of my own racing thoughts add to the psychic decibel level. With too many sounds running around in my head, not too mention those came in thru the ears make it difficult for me to listen carefully and tentatively to each of the thoughts that requires (READ: yearn for) my attention.. Argghh.. Clear communication (inside the head) is critical when i'm in this situation.

The most difficult part is to separate the realistic ones and not. For some thoughts is derived from the heart, and some are from the mind.

God gives us, human, the greatest gift his ceation could ever wish for. BRAIN.. AKAL. The ability to THINK. It is the most precious treasure that is trusted to us that is not given to any other creature. Only human. Unlike other organs (even heart), brain is not exchangable, nor transferable. If the brain is dead, it's dead. When a man is in brain-dead condition, he's medically correct to be pronounced - dead (like the late Yasser Araffat).

The fact is that, we all are, at larger part, usually governs by the heart. Yes, of course people could debate me over this. We think with our brain, but the biggest influence in making decision is often the emotion.This is a common syndrome not many realize. Me myself, find it difficult to defeat emotion.

I dont mean by saying so, we should neglect the emotion at any expense, and act only what the mind suggests. Just if the heart and mind collides, think it over... and again...

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Selamat Hari Raya comes too late?

Selamat Hari Raya frens..
A bit too late already la kan. I'm so lems~
Nothing new, nothing different from the past raya. As usual, sign contract duduk dapur! Ermm, except for the fact that this raya is the first time i gave out duit raya! I have signed another contract - raya donator for the rest of my life! *scratch head*

Btw, Selamat Hari Raya to u guys. I think i only have 4,5 ppl accessing this blog kot and i haven't seen u girls for quite some time now. So kurang sket la dosa kat korang kan? hehe.. Yang tempias-tempias tu, Maaf Zahir & Batin keh.


Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Tragedy in Bario - Do you believe?

Do you believe in Ghosts? Hmm.. it doesn't sound correct. Do you believe in paranormal soul/spirit and phenomena?
I do, and thus i do believe in the Bario behind the scene story..

Every little thing that happens in our life, happens for a reason. And Allah has his ways of showing it.
Some, are just unthinkable.. beyond human power.

Behind the Scene - Tragedy in Bario

A fren fwded me this article, which i found very interesting..

Power of God defeated Power of Humankind at Bario
(Sorry, article only available in Bahasa Melayu)

Dipetik dari buku : Kuasa Tuhan Mencabar Kuasa Manusia Di Bario
SKYLAB September 2004 - Ditulis bersama oleh: Haji Abd Rahim Manaf, Hassan Mohd Zain, Mejar Dr Yusof Abu Bakar, Dr Johari Alias, Dr Hanif Abd Rahman, Dr Abd. Rahim Tahir, Dr Azlina Jamaluddin, Mejar Dr Abd Hamid Sujak, Dr Rohaya Dato' Muhamad.
Bersabda Sulaiman
" Wahai orang-orang mulia, siapakah diantara kamu yang boleh membawa kepadaku tahta kerajaan Ratu Saba' itu sebelum mereka datang tunduk kepadaku?"

Berkata Ifrit di antara Jin " Saya dapat membawanya kepadamu sebelum engkau berdiri dari majlis ini, sesungguhnya saya kuat lagi jujur"

Berkata seorang manusia yang di sisinya ada ilmu dari Kitab " Saya boleh membawanya kepadamu dalam sekelip mata" - AnNaml: 38-39
Peristiwa kehilangan sebuah helikopter di Bario, Sarawak pada Julai tahun ini tiba-tiba menjadi satu misteri yang menggemparkan banyak pihak. Setelah hampir 20 hari pencarian dilakukan oleh hampir 2000 tenaga manusia dan alat teknologi tercanggih, akhirnya helikopter itu ditemui juga dengan bantuan orang-orang yang dekat dengan Allah, yang berusaha takut dan cinta Allah dengan sebenar-benarnya. Parlimen Malaysia sudah hampir mahu memberhentikan operasi pencarian, sejurus sebelum helikopter itu ditemui.

Kaedah bomoh biasa juga gagal dalam menghadapi kes ini. Berbagai jenis bomoh dari berbagai agama mencuba berbagai alatan perbomohan bersama jampi serapahnya tetapi sia-sia. Apa sebenarnya berlaku?

Helikopter Bell 206 Long Ranger kepunyaan Hornbill Skyways membawa seorang Menteri Sarawak, Dr Judson Sakai Tagai, bersama-sama lima orang yang lain dan dikemudi oleh juruterbang Kapten Shamsudin Hashim, yang satu-satunya Muslim, bertolak pada tanggal 12 Julai 2004, Selasa 12.15pm.Perjalanan melintasi Bario bertujuan meninjau lokasi sesuai untuk pembinaan projek empangan hidro-elektrik baru di Sarawak.

Baru 3 minit berleps, helikopter itu terputus hubungan dengan menara kawalan dan terus hilang. Perjalanan sepatutnya mengambil 20 minit ke destinasinya iaitu Ba'kelalan.

-Yang menjadi pertanyaan, mengapa helikopter tidak sempat menghubungi menara kawalan atas kerosakannya padahal baru sahaja berlepas 3 minit.

- Isyarat kawalan automatikjuga tidak berfungsi menunjukkan lokasi terhempasnya

- Operasi mencari dimulakan seawal 2 petang. Persekitaran di mana logiknya helikopter itu jatuh dan sekitarnya sudah digelidah 25 pesawat dan 2000 orang pencari terdiri dari PDRM, TUDM, RAMD, TNI-AD, dan bermacam-macam lagi pasukan, termasuk penduduk kawasan sekitar di situ termasuk penduduk negara jiran Indonesia.

- Termasuk sebuah helikopter dari Australia yang lengkap dengan sistem pengesan haba infra-red yang mampu mengesan perubahan suhu, merakam gerakan visual dan mengesan kewujudan jarak di dalam hutan, misi dibantu 2 pakar warga OZ.

- Helikopter de Orient dari USA yang mampu mengesan sehingga syiling sebesar 10 sen tidak mampu mengesan helikopter itu, tetapi satu jentolak/jentera pengangkut balak yang buruk dan berkarat dapat dikesannya

- Pakar teknologi satelit dan pemetaan berbangsa Afrika dari badan Perhutanan Sarawak

- Pesawat bantuan juga datang dari Singapura, Brunei dan Korea Selatan Maklumat sebenar tentang apa yang terjadi kepada heli itu telahpun didapati oleh penaung Skylab [ Ustaz Ashaari Muhammad ]seelok sahaja helikopter itu hilang secara alam kerohaniannya* Skylab adalah satu persatuan gabungan doktor-doktor kerohanian dan doktor-doktor fizikal termasuk doktor specialist dari bidang medical dan dentisry yang bekerja dengan kerajaan, universiti, tentera dan private practise*

- Setelah hari kelapan barulah Skylab campurtangan dalam kes ini kerana pada peringkat awalnya pihak kerajaan menolak pertolongan penaung Skylab dan anak buahnya.

- Pihak kerajaan terbahagi dua dalam menerima kehadiran Skylab, tetapi pihak Ketua Menteri Sarawak menerima permohonan Skylab untuk membantu apabila Ketua Menteri mendapat maklumat dari bomoh bahawa heli itu hilang kerana ditutup oleh jin dengan berlapis-lapis tutupan yang sangat tebal. Dan mereka berkata hanya orang yang bersembahyang sahaja yang mampu membuka tutupan itu.

Sebelum dua orang doktor kerohanian Skylab menyertai operasi, mereka bermesyuarat bersama-sama anggota Skylab lain dengan guru mereka Ustaz Ashaari di Labuan.

Seperti yang diduga mereka dapat melihat dengan jelas seorang wakil jin yang menyerupai manusia bernama Al dihantar oleh pembesar jin bernama Zar. Tujuh pengiring Al menunggu di luar dan tidak masuk ke bilik mesyuarat.Tidak semua member Skylabmampu melihatnya, mereka ini hanya merasa kehadiran makhluk Allah ini dengan hati.

Jin bernama Al yang mewakili pembesar Zar ini meminta manusia membayar segala kerosakan yang ditanggung oleh penduduk jin akibat pencerobohan helikopter itu ke daerah mereka, merosakkan rumah-rumah mereka, membunuh seramai 37 bangsa jin, lagipula tujuan asal manusia itu bertujuan meninjau kawasan pembuatan empangan hidro-elektrik baru yang akan memusnahkan bandar dan perkampungan jin di Bario

Syaratnya adalah menebus dosa manusia ini dengan mengeluarkan sedikit wang, lalu menyembelih seekor kambing dan dijamukan kepada para fakir miskin yang tinggal di rumah atas air di Labuan.

Jikalau manusia sanggup melakukannya, barulah perundingan melepaskan barang tawanan dimulakan.

Makhluk jin yang marah itu yang saiznya boleh membesar sebesar gunung telah mencekup helikopter tersebut dan dibawa ke alam mereka, lalu menutupnya dari pandangan mata kasar manusia.

Lalu Skylab mengeluarkan RM 400.00 untuk mengadakan jamuan kepada jemaah masjid atas air di Labuan, sebelum menyertai pasukan operasi mencari.

1.Pada 23 Julai 2004 [Jumaat] selepas 11 hari helikopter hilang, Tabib Abdul Rahim Manaf dan Tabib Hassan Mohd Zain yang berupaya melihat makhluk jin dan bercakap-cakap dengan makhluk Allah ini, memulakan operasi pencarian yang pertama bersama-sama pilot Capt George (bangsa Iban) dan seorang jurubahasa bernama Afendi. Kawasan yang diilhamkan adalah Pa'Longan, satu kawasan yang tidak diminati kerana terkeluar dari laluan asal dan bearing heli tersebut. Kedua orang tabib itu dapat melihat adanya heli itu dengan jelas di sana - di alam ghaib, cuma di alam lahir lokasi sebenarnya tidak diketahui dan ianya tertutup dari pandangan manusia biasa.

2. Pada 24 Julai 2004 [Sabtu] jam 11.00 pagi, operasi kedua dimulakan. Pada 11.45 pagi mereka ternampak sebatang pokok yang putus ,tinggal kayu balaknya sahaja menegak , mungkin kesan helikopter jatuh. Semasa operasi ini, Tabib Hassan terus-menerus berhubung secara ghaib dengan Al siJin Islam. Masyarakat jin di situ mempunyai 3 raja adik beradik iaitu Kalamngan, Kalamung dan Kalapung. Hanya seorang raja yang boleh diajak berunding dengan baik, yang dua lagi susah diajak berunding. Seorang ini yang akhirnya memeluk Islam..hasil perhubungan dan perbincangannya dengan manusia ini.

Perundingan dengan jin mengambil masa yang lama..bukankah dikatakan sebaik-baik jin itu sejahat-jahat manusia.

Sepanjang operasi pertama itu, Tabib Hassan merayu " Bukankah kami sudah sembelih kambing seperti yang disyaratkan, tolonglah beri petunjuk di mana helikopter itu boleh ditemui"

Jawab Jin " Yalah..kami akan tunjukkan lah ni..!!"

Selepas menentukan lokasi pokok patah itu dan diambil gambarnya, mereka balik untuk solat Zuhur.

3. Pada 24 Julai 2004 [Sabtu] petang, operasi ketiga - dengan panduan sistem GPS (Global Positioning System), mereka menuju ke kawasan pokok patah tadi. Aneh sekali, kerana kali ini dua batang pokok pula yang patah. Mengiringi heli mereka adalah dua lagi heli lain, tetapi penumpang heli utama melihat 2 lagi heli itu terlalu kecil, sebesar hujung pena. Seolah-olah mereka sedang berada jauh di alam lain iaitu alam jin.

Sesudah itu mereka pulang kerana helikopter belum dibuka tutupnya oleh Jin.

Setelah petunjuk pertama ditemui, seorang ketua kaum Penan (kaum pribumi Sarawak) telah bergerak ikut darat dengan tujuan mencari heli, bila sampai ke kawasan itu dia telah mencantas dahan dan dihalakan ke udara, metode secara perbomohan untuk ditunjukkan hala sebenar bau mayat. Tiba-tiba ribut kuat memukulnya sehingga dia terhempas ke pokok dan patah gigi.Heli penyelamat terpaksa dipanggil untuk menyelamatkannya.

Sebuah helikopter Nuri TUDM, telah menurunkan seorang tentera dengan tali pada pagi Ahad 25 Julai..Heli telah bergegar kuat dan tali itu berpusing-pusing sampai tentera itu terhempas ke pokok juga. Dia terpaksa naik semula sebelum sempat memijak tanah.

Sekembalinya dari operasi ketiga, Tabib Hassan mengucapkan terimakasih kepada Raja Jin 3 beradik diperantarai Al. Tabib Hassan berkata " Tolonglah bukakan heli itu pula untuk kami dapat lihat" Jawab Al " Yalah..kami akan bukalah!!" ..Inilah perangai jin, kerja sehari jadi 3 hari!

4. Pada 25 Julai 2004 [Ahad] pagi, di kawasan tersebut ada perkembangan terbaru, di antara dua pokok patah itu, terdapat seolah- olah satu ruang terjerumusnya helikopter. Tetapi helikopter masih tidak kelihatan. Tabib Hassan mengeluh.." Jin,jin mengapa lambat sangat nak buka ni?."

Aneh pula, Afendi si jurubahasa kelihatan sangat terganggu perasaannya, berkeras mahu dihantar pulang ke kampungnya di Miri. Terpaksalah demi menjaga hatinya, mereka semua terus berlepas ke Miri, padahal sudah sangat hampirnya dengan penemuan heli itu. Operasi diteruskan juga oleh beberapa yang lain seperti yang diceritakan tadi, tetapi aneh habis semua terpelanting dikerjakan oleh jin-jin di situ.

Sampai sahaja di Miri, para tabib itu mendapat arahan dari ustaz Ashaari guru mereka, supaya bertukar orang, kerana pasukan yang ada tidak cukup ampuh. Afendi diganti dengan Ustaz Ahmad Zahari iaitu Pengarah Rufaqa' Sarawak. Di sinilah percaturan Tuhan, di Bario perhubungan telefon memang terputus, balik ke Miri ada tujuan yang telah diatur oleh Tuhan.

Pada mulanya Ustaz Ahmad Zahari tidak dibenarkan naik ke heli menolong usaha mencari oleh Tan Sri George Chan. Semasa sedang bermenung dan berselawat dan berzikir itu, dia dan Tabib Hassan melihat pihak tentera membawa 2 ekor anjing pengesan yang terlatih menaiki
helikopter di pengkalan untuk menghidu mangsa di tempat pokok patah itu..

" Kami melihat 2 ekor anjing itu bila dibawa ke heli, mereka seperi sangat ketakutan dan berlari ke belakang. Setelah dikejar dan dipaksa naik juga hingga beberapa kali, tetap anjing-anjing itu memprotes.Sehingga akhirnya heli itu pergi tanpa anjing. Pada masa yang sama riuh-rendah kedengaran ayam berkokok seolah-olah melihat sesuatu".

5. Pada 27 Julai 2004 [Selasa], Tabib Hassan, Ustaz Ahmad Zahari dan pilot Cpt Thomas..meredah lagi hutan meneruskan pencarian di lokasi. Ustaz Ahmad Zahari dengan penuh tawakkal kepada Allah, merenjis air bacaan doa Ustaz Ashaari ke atas bumi Bario. Diiringi doa anggota Skylab dan doa ahli Rufaqa' Sarawak serta guru mereka, pada jam 5.00 petang heli itu dapat dilihat oleh Cpt thomas ditempatnya.

Jin sudah membukanya..tetapi SEBENTAR sahaja, waktu itu sahaja.

Semasa heli itu kelihatan hari sudah hampir malam, walaupun baru jam 5.00 petang di Bario, jadi apa sahaja usaha menghampiri heli terpaksa ditangguhkan keesokan harinya, lagipula cuaca yang sejuk, berangin serta keadaan tanah cerun menyukarkan penyediaan landing point dsb.

6. Pada 28 Julai 2004[Rabu], hujan turun renyai-renyai. Ramai manusia yang berbondong-bondong keluar ke tempat lokasi untuk mencari heli itu. Pada petangnya, dua orang polis udara AS Ehsan dan DSP Lukman terus mencari Tabib Hassan " Tolong kami ustaz, saya seram ni..Gunung Murut sudah hilang!!"

Rupa-rupanya sepanjang hari mencari mereka tidak melihat heli itu, yang dijumpai satu pokok manggis besar di tempat terjerumusnya heli itu, buah2nya pula masak dan besar. Bila heli buat u-turn untuk mendekati pokok manggis itu, pokok manggis itu ghaib pula..bila mereka pandang ke arah Gunung Murut, gunung itu turut hilang..terus ASP Ehsan mengarah pilot memecut heli mencari si Tabib.

Tabib memberitahu ASP Ehsan " Nampaknya jin itu telah menutup heli itu semula! Kalau begitu marilah kita bersolat, baca Fatihah 4x, Ayat Qursi dan selawat pada RSAW.

Akhbar-akhbar tanggal 30 Julai 2004 Jumaat, melaporkan pada sepanjang malam itu [Rabu 28 Julai, malam Khamis] 2 komando diturunkan dan tidur bersama mayat, ada yang mengatakan pasukan Bomba pemadam kebakaran yang menjumpai heli itu.Ada yang mengatakan ekor heli sahaja dijumpai padahal di lokasi ekor dan badan heli ada bersama-sama..Macam-macam khabar yang tidak sinonim disebarkan dengan apa yang sebenarnya terjadi.

Hakikatnya, sukar untuk menurunkan komando dalam cuaca yang gelap dan sejuk begitu, tanah di situ pula agak curam dan bercerun, tiada tanah rata, agak sukar membuat operasi menyelamat, apa lagi heli itu ghaib semula waktu itu!!

Padahal, sepanjang malam itu ASP Ehsan tekun berdoa bersama tabib-tabib semalaman agar dimudahkan segala usaha.

7. Pada 29 Julai 2004 Khamis, ASP Ehsan dan orang-orangnya lah yang berjaya menemui heli malang itu dan mengangkat tujuh mayat yang berada di situ (tiada komando yang bermalam bersama mayat sebelum itu seperti yang dilaporkan akhbar-akhbar utama di Semenanjung). Operasi itu dilakukan waktu siang terang-benderang. Landing point helikopter dibuat agak jauh dari tempat heli malang ditemui kerana tanahnya yang curam.

Seorang anak buah ASP Ehsan, anggota penyelamat,membaca kata ?kata ini di dinding helikopter yang ditemui " Mengapa lambat selamatkan kami?"..Bayangkan cuaca di Bario itu mencecah 10 darjah Celcius, tanpa bekal sedikitpun makanan, jatuh di kawasan hutan yang sangat tebal dan bercuram.

Heli itu langsung tidak terbakar, hanya ekornya yang patah. Jika terhempas di gunung dalam keadaan petrolnya penuh mesti ia terbakar. Pintu heli terbuka lebar dan dua orang ditemui di luar helikopter, termasuk mayat Allayarham Kapten Shamsudin. Sementara mayat-mayat lain sukar dikenali akibat reput dan mengalami dekomposisi yang teruk, mayat Kapten Shamsudin mudah dikenali, walaupun reput, bau kapur barus cukup kuat pada mayat itu. Ada sejadah lapik solat yang tidak reput di sebelahnya, di keliling mayatnya sampah-sarap dan kayu-kayan disapu bersih.
Bila dirujuk pada Ustaz Ashaari dia menjawab " Itulah petanda kehadiran jin-jin Islam"

Kapten Haris menceritakan heli itu terletak elok, hanya ekor dan kipasnya yang patah, pokok-pokok disekitarnya pun masih dalam keadaan asal. Seolah-olah heli itu diletakkan di situ..dan jin-jin yang bekerja mencantas dua pokok secara berperingkat hingga tinggal batangnya sahaja untuk menggambarkan seolah-olah heli itu terhempas di situ.

Ahbar berbahasa Cina dan Inggeris Miri Daily News di Sarawak menemubual mengambil gambar individu-individu yang menolong dalam operasi mencari heli hilang itu dan melaporkan kejadian yang sebenar.

Akhbar-akhbar di Indonesia hanya melaporkan heli itu ditemui dengan pertolongan bomoh/dukun/pawang. Tiada langsung berita mengenai Skylab pada akhbar utama di Semenanjung.

[Sistem rohani dan ghaib itu jauh lebih hebat dari sistem akal. Alam ghaib memang wujud..Alam perwalian, alam Roh, cuma kita yang terlalu sekular ini sangat terpengaruh dengan fahaman Barat. Mana-mana yang berlainan sedikit dari logik mudah sahaja dituduh sesat, menyesatkan, bid'ah dsb]

Bila ditanya kepada Ustaz Ashaari oleh Skylab.. " Apakah Ustaz didampingi jin?"

Beliau menjawab " Mendidik manusia cukup susah bahkan sering gagal, hebatnya saya kalau mampu menundukkan jin?Sejahat-jahat manusia itu sama dengan sebaik-baik Jin Islam."

Dan akhirnya..salah seorang Raja jin yang masuk Islam itu adalah yang bernama Kalamung. Dia hatinya agak lunak dan mudah diajak berunding. Namanya ditukar ke Abdul Jabir, nama yang dipilih dan diberi oleh manusia yang telah berhubung dengannya melalui alam yang tidak terjangkau akal. Mana mustahil, kaum Jin suatu hari nanti akan turut sama membantu manusia sebagai sebahagian tentera Allah..seperti yang banyak berlaku sebelum-sebelum ini?

Monday, November 01, 2004


lame gile tak update blog ni.. Quite tight up with work. I might have lesser time to update once the project i'm currently handling kicked off.. Hmm.. Less. Lesser. Lost!


1st Ramadhan 1425
Marked the beginning of the new me, the recarnation of my soul. I have been wanting to do this for quite sum time.. But it seemed so difficult, judging by my 'former' lifestyle and surroundings. Few of my old friends who bumped into me were quite surprised with the changes of me. Even my sister bet that I couldn’t hold for long. (Heh~ make sure you have enuff money on the table before you place the bet sis!)

For some people, the changes that I’ve made is not a big deal. But it means a lot to me. It’s not something that i would shout out loud, but for me but it’s the turning point of my life. I’ve been wanting and planned this changes for the last 5 years. What holds me back is – GUTS. Because, if I want to do something, I want to do it right. Not just for the sake of doing it. So, i make small changes, gradually. From the clothes i'm wearing to people i live and hang out with.

A friend jokingly told me that I would be less desirable and sexy ( i quote him, "turun saham sexy") with my new look. (but he did say i look prettier hahhaa). I don’t mind if I look less desirable to men, but I know I am now more desirable to God. That is more important.

And to my own surprise, I actually excited with this new look.. No more bad hair day! Kewl~!

Monday, October 25, 2004

Wishlist Updated

My wishlist updated:

1. A PDA
2. New purse
3. New handphone
4. A digital SLR-like camera with >10x optical zoom
5. New sunglasses (preferably identical to my beloved sunglasses that my mom accidently flushed down the toilet :( )
6. A holiday with my new camera and sunglasses!! yeeehhhaa!!

Item 1 & 2, i've already got them - FREE!! Courtesy of Company + Leader
Item 3 - Kewl stuff!! Camera + Infrared + Bluetooth + all those WAP stuff (but useless to me. My 'service provider' does not provide the services)
I HAD to buy! My bloody phone was not functioning anymore and i HAD to buy a new phone! But well, it satisfed my wishlist even though item was not listed in October 04 budget ;-)

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Kuih & Cookies Raya

Festive Season Is Here Again!

Please visit my KUIH & COOKIES RAYA fotopages.

You can have a sample, if you happen to live/work nearby my place ;-)

Monday, October 11, 2004

Rope of hope

There are times that you keep thinking.. you've been holding on to something.. it takes too much of your energy. You are not too sure if it worth the effort or whether you'll regret the whole struggle? and u wish u'd rather fall and feel the pain altogether. Perhaps it was not the pain that you are not willing to surrender to, but it was just insecurity that crawls in.

I learnt this when I did an induction camp weeks ago. In one of the activities, I had to walk on a rope to get across a lake. And for balancing, I had to hold strong to the two ropes on my sides, one for each side. If i fall, i'd fall into a muddy lake. The problem is, i cant be falling, coz i cant swim. So before I begin the journey with a team of 3, we had a bit of practice and discussed the best techniques to get us across. But it was not as easy as it seem. It took so much of my energy to balance my body, and more difficult to balance the ropes i've been gripping with these 2 bare hands. I can hear people shouted for us, coz they believe we can make it to the other end of the lake. As much as i want to believe so, i felt like it took forever for me to get to the other end. Half way through, i almost fell. Twice. Each time, I got up again on my two feet. Extra careful. Just as much as i believe that i could make it thru, reality bites. My body cant take it anymore. As i lose concentration, i lose my balance as well. I was holding on to the rope tightly. i didnt want to fall.. i was not ready for the water. But I finally fell.. but it was not as bad as I thought. I thought I will drowned but much to my suprise, I kinda like the refreshing and sensational feelings of the water in a hot sunny weather.

People say practice makes perfect. But the real fact is, practice makes permanent. What you've been practicing might not be right. It just makes you become better of what you already know. It could be a mistake you keep doing all over again, and become better at it. It just a problem of some people who make permanent of their life, they normally dont allow room for a change. Little that we know, we might not be practicing the obvious for long.

It just got me into thinking that, most times, i dont want to change what i have in my life. There are times i think what i always believe is true. What i always do is right. There are times i know that the path i'm taking is wrong, but i'm just dont havt the guts to change lane. It's like you've been traveling so far, only to know that you are heading to the wrong direction. No wonder la tak sampai-sampai!! But along the way, it was such a wonderful experience. Beautiful sceneries. Unforgetful memories. It's just that, you probably dont get to reach the destination. So what do u do? Do you stop? Do u make a turn or just continue the endless journey?

There are many good things in life we wish it never end. But how can we expect such a thing when we know, life itself will come to an end.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Psychotic vs Curious Mind

This particular site shocked me up!
A self-mutilation act. Wow~ Wat a psycho!!

Tried something like that once. But it wasn't a self mutilation act at all.
See, I was always amazed with the fact that each one of us have unique finger prints and how it helps in criminal investigations and bla bla bla.. (This happens years before CSI came into the screen. I was so young and i didn't know they've got other gadgets)

Well, the truth is.. there was this one time, years ago, i had series of nightmares - i was a dangerous outlaw on the run. It bit me to reality so badly i started thinking of ways to cheat evidence e.g finger prints. So out of curiousity, I purposely burnt my finger.Just wanted see if i can change the pattern, pretended that i was a criminal hahaha...

I did it only on one finger.
I managed to get the pattern changed.. Errmm to be exact, it's not even a pattern. But a minor skin burn..
Kewl! but it was a stupid act.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

My Remedy

I just got back from a camping trip to Bentong, Pahang. At least that was the first impression when i joined in the bus trip. I didn't put much thought when i decided to go. I was contemplating to go since i've got a commitment here. My then-final decision was not to go, left my friends with much disappointment.

But it was about 5.30am when, for a strange reason, i woke up and like a bullet, the thought of going struck my head. First and foremost, chances for me to wake up that early are NIL. Nak bangun pagi kol 7 gi keje pon payah ape lagi kol 5 la kan.. Forced myself to get back to sleep but i couldn't. It was a strange force telling me to go. Weird. I just can't explain. Took wuduk and i prayed for direction from God. Stay? Go? Go!

It was like a sudden call. I have less than an hour to quickly get ready, pack my bag and leave my worries behind. For once, i feel selfish.. but my inner voice told me that sometimes, selfish is the only choice i have to appreciate myself. No one can appreciate you more than your own self.

Perhaps it's the subconscious mind telling me to clear my head and rekindle with my spirit. Lately i've been feeling miserable and i just couldn't find any sense in me. I need to get out of my now-life, back to nature and search for my inner self. Finding antidote for my soul. Well, maybe it was at the wrong time. But what power do we have to judge time?

It's like a wake up call.. All these while i just feel like i always always treat myself the wrong way. I sympathize myself alot. I mean, it's a feeling like, I am one running system. There are times when my mental get disappointed. Most times, my emotion symphatize my mental if things didn't turn out right. When my emotion is a glass full of sympathy, i became upset spiritually. When the spirit didn't get much support, it weaken me physically. Affected my mental again and forth. Circling round the system. It's like a metamorphosis of me. With a missing link.

The missing link is between mental and emotion - communication. And support.
The bridge - emphatic to myself. Empathy, not sympathy.

Empathy, my remedy.
Somewhere in the jungle.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Who is better at argument?

I was on the way to the office.
In traffic jam.. accompanied with the fm wave.
The fellow was talking about "men vs women - who is better at argument?"
Sexist topic, again!among the easiest way to get listeners' attention. chauvinist.
Well, have to say.. worked on me.

So, who's better?

There are two types of argument. One, a healthy argument, another is unhealthy argument (well, obviously).

I think most ppl know pon, healthy argument is when we can argue about everyday stuff, politics, environment, the world, whatever... and it's like a mental exercise. Who wins? The person with better brain, supported by the right facts. (I like it when i win.. i feel so smart!! hehehe) I personally think that it's not the gender that counts. It's intelligence.. Maturity, the way we percieve things. And at the end of the day, everybody gains.

When ppl argue for a small thing or over a stupid stuff, that's when the argument turns ugly. And it's bad for your health. It usually filled the air with anger. And anger is 10% emotion and 90% nonsense. And of course, i can safely say, girls are pretty much good at this. Ada sket emotional la.. I, on the the other hand, usually walk out the door when i sense the heat.

But then again, at times i do like arguments. I could easily say what i wanted to say without needing to be careful with my words, or hurting the other party. It makes me feel good. Even though the aftermath is disasterous, it doesn't matter. i finally get to send my words across.

But most times, i have to withdraw. My instructor once said, to get the best of argument - avoid it. Especially if i'm dealing with a person that has so much ego in 'em. Or in a relationsip.. Duran Duran said, "Pride will tear us both apart. Well now pride's gone out the window, cross the rooftops, runaway."

Pride. Swallow it. And drink a lot of water.

Drag Queen

Warning : The thoughts below has nothing to do with the title.

I dragged myself to get off the bed today.. well, the symptom started long ago and it's becoming worse.

I dragged myself to get off the bed today..
Not bcoz i'm not a morning person.
Not bcoz i had not enuff sleep (overslept maybe)
Not bcoz i hate the jam
Not bcoz i hate to work

Just bcoz i hate my boss!

I hate the fact that i have to wait for his direction everytime i want to proceed with my work.
And his direction is never clear. It's just the procedure. *sigh*
I hate the fact that every decision that we make, it has to get approval from the management.
And to get him signature, or a nod from his almost botak head can take weeks. Any earlier, I have to chase 'em like a mad dog!
I hate the fact that he promised the moon and stars to potential customers.
And i have to build rocket for them.
I hate the fact that bcoz he promised so many stuff to the customers and didn't deliver them "on time", i have to meet the customers and renew the promises.
And that means, i have to lie sum more and jeapordize the rapo of my company.
I hate the fact that he thinks everything is so simple, and makes everything as simple as he thinks.
Yeah rite! And i have to dig the hole, pile the tiang, and do watever shit so that he can land safely.

I asked my AGM to help me to talk the GM to move faster. People in the industry already approaching the finishing line and kite baru dok terkial2 nak pakai spike.

Feedback from the GM when i asked him to make a call to our business partner in Australia, so that we could tell them to fly down here for a technical workshop.
"I'll call Steve at the end of the week. I'm not happy with the pace of their progress"
Hello~~ !! He was suppose to call Steve 2 weeks ago. And i am not happy with the pace of his progress!! It was just a phone call away, and it only take like 15 mins of his bloody time so we can move our asses on this project.

And i'm not even suprised if this Project is void altogether.
Just becoz of one bloody call he didn't make.
And of course, if there's any problem, i have to take the blame.
When he left a shit, i had to clean it.
Damn it, i'm not working for him. I'm working for the company.

As i complained, Jeri said "Nak buat mcm mana. Kita hanya yang menurut perintah. So, turut la perintah" Yeah, i guess he's right! I don't give a damn anymore. Just kill time with this bloggie thingggg~ yeahhh! Wasted life!!

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Ridiculous ways to save money $$$

Since i started working, money has been the center of my life. More a like center of problem. It has put me to a place where i've never wanted to go - Independent.

It's all begin when i started working, (doing my industrial study, to be exact), my parents have threw me out of their pocket. I couldn't blame them as my father got sick and business wasn't doing well.
Not getting FAMA pocket money was a hard start to begin my journey with. Not to mention that i have to pay my car loan on my own. My bro took a pity on me by paying half of my car loan (yeah, after my endless cries over the phone every end of the month).
And non of my frens could understand why i had to take part time job during my final year. They thought i love the job (yeah, rite!)

Then i've got a real job. This is even harder. I didn't know that there's so much i need to spend + invest and start thinking for a better future.
Here's the list:

1. Emergency fund (at least 2 months of my salary)
2. Insurance policy (there's so many in the market, i really dont know which to choose from)
3. Wedding/Family fund
4. Retirement plan (apart from EPF deducted from salary)
5. Investment in COOP
6. Investment in Unit Trust
7. Property Investment

These are the MUST HAVEs that my seniors colleagues are investing/saving in.
Can u imagine that? There's no credits for my shopping list!!

Then i thought of ridiculous ways for me to save money:
1. Take brunch instead of breakfast and lunch. Better still, attend + organize meetings coz - food and refreshments provided.
2. Take teaner instead of tea and dinner.
3. Sleep early so that my frens wont bug me for supper.
4. Dont use air cond while driving to + from work (hahaaa.. i could do this. My office is so cold it can lasts till i get home :-P)
5. Use office phone instead of mine when making calls (lucky i'm working in Telco)
6. Refill fuel full tank in the morning or at night.
7. Become a homebody. No need la to go out every weekend.
8. Avoid going to shopping complexes. It's a dangerous place for my pocket. Esp when i'm alone.
9. Buy groceries at hypermarket and keep a shopping list.
10. Cook! Urghh..
11. Wash my own clothes.
12. Withdraw salary and pay for expenses only after 1st of every month (Bank gives interest on every 30th maa)
13. Go back hometown as often as possible (expenses sponsored by family hehehe)
14. And i need to find a housemate!!

And figuring so, i've managed to save up a few hundred bucks by sticking to the rules. But the money doesnt go right to my piggy bank though. All the hardwork gives me pressure at the end of the month, so I spend it all on retail theraphy.. hehe


Things that i procrastinate every day:

1. Wake up at the sound of alarm clock
2. Pray
3. Wash my face before sleep
4. Take supplements

Things that i procrastinate every week:

1. Mop the floor
2. Read books (Currently i have 3 books + 2 magazines i haven't done reading)
3. Wash clothes / Send them for dobby
4. Visit my niece. (miss Sarah so much! :( )
5. Call/hang out with my friends

Things that i procrastinate every month:

1. Pay credit cards
2. Save money
3. Pay phone bill
4. Get insurance policy
5. Go for religion class

Things that i procrastinate in my life:

1. Grow up

That's it.

Monday, September 27, 2004

cause inside...

"If I have to give away...
The feeling that I feel.
If I have to sacrifice...
Oh, whatever baby.
If I have to take apart...
All that I am...
Is there anything that I would not do,
'Cause inside I'd die without you..."

i just cant wait to get home
to you...
With a bowl of mushroom soup :)

Friday, September 24, 2004

What a tragic accident

Article in English
Article in Malay

COINS (My Department) will be holding a Yassin recitation for Allahyarham Siti Salwani this afternoon. Wani was in COINS team before company reshuffering.
I dont know her well, as i'm new to this department (barely 3 months).
The whole department grief..
And i feel the loss too...
She was innocent.
She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Mungkin dah sampai ajal dia..
Al-fatihah to her.

The accident:

My wishlist

My wishlist according to ranking:

1. A PDA
2. New purse
3. New handphone
4. A digital SLR-like camera with >10x optical zoom
5. New sunglasses (preferably identical to my beloved sunglasses that my mom accidently flushed down the toilet :( )
6. A holiday with my new camera and sunglasses!! yeeehhhaa!!

Item 1 & 2, i've already got them - FREE!! Courtesy of Company + Leader

Thursday, September 23, 2004


"Women should not see themselves as being weaker or lacking capability as compared against the men. Most of the time, weakness come from self-assumption and attitude, which prevent women from fully utilising their talents and skills."

-- Wanita Umno Chief Datuk Seri Rafidah Aziz

The quote above is today's quote of the day of It captured me in a sense that i know and i believe that many women in Malaysia feel the same way too. However, most of them are just too afraid to put it in action. Or lack of support, i presume.

I recall one incident.. I was a bridesmaid for my good fren who got married last month. A flowerlady (err.. she's not the senior version of flower girl, she provided flowers for the bride's room and pelamin) innocently tried to give the bride a piece of advice (apparently, to me too) while we were waiting for the groom to come for akad nikah. She told us; ladies' rule-of-thumb: "be dependant on your husband, so that he will always remember you" Which means, DO NOT do anything that is not in the bracket of housewife chores. Not even changing bulbs, nor rearrange stuff in the house eg. table. Even though you are capable of doing it on your own. Just pretend that you dont know. Whatever happens, wait for him and ask him to do it for you or do it together. By doing this, your spouse will always worry about you, thinks of you, whatever he does, where ever he goes.

My bride-fren and i were like, "What???" Hello!!! What era does she lives in? I'm not married but i personally do not think that's how it should be. It should be based on understanding and respect to each other. Not clinging!! Zaman dulu-dulu boleh la kot, where girls were so naive and all they knew, is to breed and cook and wash for the family.

I like to see myself as one of the women, just like Datuk Seri Rafidah. I always wanted to believe that i'm independent and strong. But i know i cant't be that, not without support from my love ones. I dont say to be stronger than men, but i just want to be a stronger self, a better person each day. I dont compare myself with other people. I compare me with myself yesterday.

i do suggest that women should stand beside a man, not behind. And men should do likewise. Thus, i disagree with the quote "In every man's success, there's a women behind him"

"In every man's success, there's a women beside him" and vice versa.