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Thursday, September 29, 2005

Lucas said "My life is too short to become a film studio." - CNN

The theatrical Star Wars saga may be winding to a close, but the Force will always be here - into many new and exciting territories - Asia.
What else can I ask for?

I know it's not over yet.
I know it's not the end.
I know there is still a light of hope.
And now it's here... closer to me ;-)

With the return of Jedi Clone Wars, Lucas empire strikes back... bringing a new ME!!!!

Monday, September 26, 2005

My life's a bore, so why do u even care?

I just realized that Jigz Dump Site has marked one year of its existence in the alam maya siber.. yeayyyy!!

Antara banyak-banyak, saya suka yang ini - My Remedy, ini pon ok gaks - "No...I said I love you SO MUCH!", Dan Change One Thing, Change Everything slalu wat saye pikir. Ini pon same One of those... of me. Haa.. ini menjadi topik emo kawan-kawan saya - Malacca, that's where my life begins... Tapi saye agak emo dgn yang ni Beauty queen is only sixteen.

Ade lagi ke yang nak fill me in? hehe...

Apesal aku rase cam pathetic je ni? Shit, i need a real life!

beauty queen of only sixteen

Life is the process of finding love,
every person will need to find four people in their life.
First person is yourself,
second person is the one you love most,
third person is the one who love you most,
and the fourth, is the one you spend the rest of your life with.

In life, firstly you will meet the one you love most,
and learn how love feels;
Because you know how love feels,
so you can find the person who love you most;
When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved,
you will then know what it is you need most,
Then you will find the person who is suitable for you,
to be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.
The one you love most, doesn't love you;
The one who love you most, is never the one you love most;
And the one you spend your life with, is never the one you love most
or the one who love you most,
he is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.
So, which person are you in other people's life?

No person will purposely have a change of heart.
At the point in time when he loves you,
he really loves you;
But when he doesn't love you anymore,
he really don't love you anymore;
When he loves you, he can't pretend that he doesn't;
Same goes, when he loves you no more,
there's no way he can pretend he loves you.

When a person doesn't love you and wants to leave you.
You must ask yourself if you still love him,
If you also don't love him anymore,
don't ever not let him leave just to save your pride.

If you still love him, you should wish him happiness,
and hope that he will be with the one he loves most,
not stop him from it.
If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves,
it shows you already don't love him,
And if you don't love him,
what rights do you have to blame him for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive.
If you like the moon,
you can't just take it down and put it in your basin,
But the moonlights will shines upon you.

In other words, when you love a person,
you can use another method of possessing the person.
Let him become a permanent memory in your life.

If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is;
Love him for his good points, and the bad,
You can't wish for him to become like what you like him to be just because you love him.
If he can't change to become what you like him to be, you don't love him anymore.

When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him,
You only know that no matter when and where,
good mood or bad mood,
you will wish to have this person be with you;

Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises and listing criteria's.
In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give him at times,
not always be on the receiving end;
Being away from each other is a type of test,
If the relationship isn't strong, then you can only admit defeat.
Real love will never become hate.

When two people are in love,
They love to ask each other to swear, to make promises.
Why do they ask each other to swear and promise?
Because they don't trust each other, they don't trust their lover.

This swears and promises are useless;
Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for you will never change!
We all know that the sky will never fall, the ocean will never dry,
Even if it happens, are we still alive by then?

Be careful when making promises, don't make promises that you cannot keep.
Swear by things that can never happen,
because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually.
Remember, "Swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!!"

In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another;
The one saying, doesn't believe; the one listening, also doesn't believe.

Which person have you found so far?
In the world so big, which person have you found?
And who has found you?

*credits to my gorgeous confidante...who is 12,000 miles away..

Saturday, September 24, 2005

So little time..

It's 5:47PM on Saturday evening and I'm blogging away...
*the heck am I doing with a PC on a fine day like this!*
Yes. bebeh! Am at the office.. Working, bebehhhh!

you better work ( cover girl )
work it girl ( give a twirl )
do your thing on the runway
i have one thing to say, sashay shante, shante, shante, shante
i have one thing to say, sashay shante, shante, shante, shante
i have one thing to say better work, bitch !

...singing to myself a la RuPaul (so the very 80s hehe)

Kalau work on runway takpe gaks..Nih keje ngadap PC betulkan network customer.. watpe!
Tsskkkk!! Tskkk!! Shrug my head!

On the other hand, while waiting for the network test result, I screen my blog statistics and suddenly i saw a unique page linking to my site..
Huhhh?? Wadda heck is dis? I tot I have classified my blog as private?!

Think I'm going to see Qaisara after this la. Miss her so much, wonder if she can talk already. I still couldn't figure out whether I should teach her to call me Auntie or Mak Su. The latter one sounds younger je... hehe.. Yikesss!! Geli geli je..
Well, aby Cha... u can call me Jigz :-P

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Dwell in Possibility...

Things that I do when I'm happy:

  1. Go shopping
  2. A personal treat at Sushi King
  3. Indulge in chocolate or ice cream McFlurry Oreo/Sundae Choc
  4. Hang out with friends - gelak2, lawak2, kutuk2, pangkah2
  5. Listen to noisy and loud music, headbanging and singing on top of my lung like org gile
  6. Grin grin grin a la colgate kindergarten schoolteacher
  7. Write journal/blog
  8. Sleep like a rabbit

Things that I do when I'm sad:

  1. Go shopping
  2. A personal treat at Sushi King
  3. Indulge in chocolate or ice cream McFlurry Oreo/Sundae Choc
  4. Hang out with friends - gelak2, lawak2, kutuk2, pangkah2
  5. Listen to noisy and loud music in the car, headbanging and singing on top of my lung like org gile
  6. Pretend to grin grin grin a la colgate kindergarten schoolteacher
  7. Write journal/blog
  8. Sleep like a tenuk mati

I do exactly the same thing I would have done when I'm tremedously happy or when I'm down with sadness. That's how I even out my emotions... I'm feeling a little oogie woogie at the moment. I'm lack of soul, i'm lack on esteem. My double jumble feelings is puching my head, beating my brain. I'm numb. Complete numbness. I got no strength at all.. In the state that I'm in. I miss you so much, it hurts.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Wake up and smell the coffee

I don't feel like doing anything today.
I wish I'm not here. I wish I'm not nowhere.
Interstate of mind.. When you're high and fly.

My hands are tied.
My legs are weak.
My heart is frozen.
I'm paralyze...
Because of you.

../tickle me to see this person's display emotikus image.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Izzit a During Menstrual Syndrome (DMS) or izzit a bunga-bunga sentimental day?

It just occur to me..These songs are looping in my playlist in a manner of the following order:

  1. Love Song -311
  2. Too Lost in You - Sugarbabes
  3. The Trouble with Love Is - Kelly Clarkson
  4. Secret Lovers - Atlantic Starr
  5. Same Script, Different Cast - Deborah Cox & Whitney Houston
  6. Menanti Sebuah Jawaban - Padi
  7. Give Me One Reason - Tracy Chapman
  8. Berhenti Berharap - Sheila on 7
  9. Shut Up - The Black Eyed Peas
  10. Forget Her - Jeff Buckley

Obviously la these are not the only songs looping in Jigz playlist but ironicly they are queueing up in such story-telling order. Funny, how it could make up a story hehekkss...

And obviously i have that much time, i could analyze my playlist :P


Ya Allah, permudahkanlah perjalanannya. Panjangkanlah jodohku dengannya. Semoga dia sampai ke bumi tanah airku ini dengan selamat. Amin.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Live for more, alive for the first time

Time is tough, the sea is rough
Be it Nabi storm or Katrina hurricane, I will always stand by you.
I may not be your sugar lady but I'll be there in times when u need me
Just get home safely
I'll be here waiting

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Malacca, that's where my life begins

Last nite, like any other Wednesday nite, I went lepakking with my "associates" hehhee.. This time at Nasi Kandar Sedap (it is important to note that the food contradicts with the name. Sungguh tak sedap!!) with a view of a sexy, gorgeous Lamborghini in front of me (uhhh beshnye... slurrppp!!)

I was so sleepy and stoned, as I only had 3 hours of golek2 and non snoozing sleep the nite before. Despite of my zombiness, I dragged my big cute ass to meet them somehow coz Nadz a fren just met with an accident earlier in the evening. N'way, just to release a bit of tension, last nite we just layan cerita2 zaman Alpha.. Ala sebenarnye coz ade junior kot.. When we open book on the Alpha years, each one of the guys has some pointers towards me.. One claimed that he was a nerd and I became his fren just bcoz i needed help in my studies and assignments. Another said dat i didn't even know him, let alone talk to him back then coz i was with the high class clan (tahpehape!). Obviously, I had a hard time trying to justify myself but if that's the role i play in their life, so let be it. Ok la aku pasrah, ape pon yg telah di-trade mark kan utk aku, aku terima seikhlas-ikhlasnya.

Nevertheless, i just wanna re-collect on the things that i really really miss during my Malacca year:

  1. The short hair, Natalie look :P
  2. Free hostel phone!!
  3. Staying alive with full blast energy after dawn dusk and pengsan during daytime.
  4. Ghost hunting sessions
  5. Watching Laser Disc with the gang (particularly of that Booty Call movie..hahaha wicked!)
  6. Me being warded for food poisoning/gastric, then ran away from the hospital on the 2nd day and 3 hours later i was back on the hospital bed :( *deepest love and appreciation to my frens who sent me to the hospital, visited (sampai sanggup sneak in), took care of me, and buat riot kat ward*
  7. Girl nite out at Equatorial, pampered with lotsa pizza and cheese cakes ;-)
  8. Supper at Daud seriyesssss!!
  9. Nine (tah apsal tah Zach letak name Nine pastu dah tukar nama dah) GREASE!
  10. Food hunting! My mom said i was at my chubbiest mode when i was in Malacca. Seriyes food kat Melaka sedap nak mampos! Nyum nyum nyummm...
  11. Hanging out and playing beach soccer at Pantai Klebang.
  12. A road trip MLK(BBQ)-KL(Supper@Bangsar)-KLIA(Breakfast)-MLK(Lunch)-JB(Dinner) all in a day. AKA a frenship trip to visit Amy yang chicken pox hihii
  13. Those adventurous JB-Mlk trips on Babarthe's Honda Civic yang lantai berlubang leh nampak jalan n sampai2 hostel engine terus berasap; and also my Charade yang dengan jayanya menghantar kawan-kawanku pulang beraya di KL tetapi mengaku kalah di Kajang on d way to JB yang menyebabkan Filza and i stranded at KL just few days before Raya. hukss...
  14. The Cyber trips and ZERO Party.
  15. And the most most importantly... Those crazy frens, and all other crazy things that we did.. Also the games - belon acah (aka galah panjang), suck and kiss, card tricks, telur&tepung war, cake bashing, BBQ... (cepat, ape lagi yg i nak kene senaraikan ni?)

Ok, that's enough! If i were to list everything, i need to make a journal instead..

During my FOSEE year, everyday was a joyful day. Seriously..I love every single bit of it.. Life in uni was all about fun fun fun. The best part is that we don't have to party hard and be wild to just to have a blast. Just doing those stupid activities, which mostly does not require us to fork out our money... We were so restless.. i miss those times. Life has been creeping up on us so badly that we dont have time to spend together like the younger years (mcm dah tua sgt je).

If my emotions were a bank, I might be feeling just a touch overdrawn right now. It's always nice to feel a little nostalgia for days of yore, but it doesn't mean that I want to stay stuck in the past. Those are just memories that I love to cherish.

AND, in 24 hours - jojie's home!!! Yeayyyy... (alaa.. if it's u who's coming back, i definitely put ur name pulak. So pengajaran - GO ABROAD and BE MISSED!)

To dear frens, though this entry created much of a back-fire towards me, i won't comply to your request of putting everyone's name :-P (saya mempunyai kawan-kawan yang teramat emo apabila nama-nama mereka tidak diglamerkan. Kenapa ek?). Even though I am still quite at my emo mode (the "invitation conflict" case is NOT OVER yet, ppl! + my much-hated-absence of yesterday's get-together *sob* *sob*) but just wanna let u know that i truly truly cherish and appreciate your frenship *big hug~!* (eeekkkk.. jiwang la plak! geli jek!). Ada org menyampah if i talk about this 'friendship bond'. I don't say sweet things often, so beat it my fren! Nasib la, my blog - my territory.

Updated: 13 Sept 05 -> karena aku kalah dengan bullet-bullet mereka di kala ku keseorangan berjuang di medan perang Malacca Entry. Demmm!

Monday, September 05, 2005

Penantian Suatu Penyiksaan

Menanti Sebuah Jawaban
by Padi

Aku tak bisa luluhkan hatimu
Dan aku tak bisa menyentuh cintamu
Seiring jejak kakiku bergetar
Aku tak terpagut oleh cintamu
Menelusup hariku dengan harapan
Namun kau masih terdiam membisu

Sepenuhnya aku ingin memelukmu
Mendekap penuh harapan 'tuk mencintaimu
Setulusnya aku akan terus menunggu
Menanti sebuah jawaban 'tuk memilikimu

Betapa piluhnya rindu menusuk jiwaku
Semoga kau tahu isi hatiku
Dan seiring waktu yang terus berputar
Aku masih terhanyut dalam mimpiku

I just wanna be with you, whatever it may cost...

Friday, September 02, 2005

Friday I'm in love...*wink*

I, Jigz hereby announce that I have a confession to make. I have a new love interest. I'm in love with someone I've never met before. My baby will be coming to town by end of the month...insyaAllah. I pray hard. I can't wait. Uhhh, I'm so in love...