My Remedy

I just got back from a camping trip to Bentong, Pahang. At least that was the first impression when i joined in the bus trip. I didn't put much thought when i decided to go. I was contemplating to go since i've got a commitment here. My then-final decision was not to go, left my friends with much disappointment.

But it was about 5.30am when, for a strange reason, i woke up and like a bullet, the thought of going struck my head. First and foremost, chances for me to wake up that early are NIL. Nak bangun pagi kol 7 gi keje pon payah ape lagi kol 5 la kan.. Forced myself to get back to sleep but i couldn't. It was a strange force telling me to go. Weird. I just can't explain. Took wuduk and i prayed for direction from God. Stay? Go? Go!

It was like a sudden call. I have less than an hour to quickly get ready, pack my bag and leave my worries behind. For once, i feel selfish.. but my inner voice told me that sometimes, selfish is the only choice i have to appreciate myself. No one can appreciate you more than your own self.

Perhaps it's the subconscious mind telling me to clear my head and rekindle with my spirit. Lately i've been feeling miserable and i just couldn't find any sense in me. I need to get out of my now-life, back to nature and search for my inner self. Finding antidote for my soul. Well, maybe it was at the wrong time. But what power do we have to judge time?

It's like a wake up call.. All these while i just feel like i always always treat myself the wrong way. I sympathize myself alot. I mean, it's a feeling like, I am one running system. There are times when my mental get disappointed. Most times, my emotion symphatize my mental if things didn't turn out right. When my emotion is a glass full of sympathy, i became upset spiritually. When the spirit didn't get much support, it weaken me physically. Affected my mental again and forth. Circling round the system. It's like a metamorphosis of me. With a missing link.

The missing link is between mental and emotion - communication. And support.
The bridge - emphatic to myself. Empathy, not sympathy.

Empathy, my remedy.
Somewhere in the jungle.