This girl...

She's so skinny
She has bad complexion
She's so hairy
She doesn't have long sexy legs
She can't close her eyes when she sleeps
She eats like a horse
She sips her drink like a tortoise
She slouches
She will grow old as a hunchback

This girl...
She's loud
She's practically deaf
She talks too much
She's proud
She's clumsy
She's forgetful
She's blur
She's so grago

This girl...
She works too hard
She doesn't watch football
She hates hockey and PS2
She doesn't like pet
She's a bad driver
She listens to loud and noisy music
She doesn't like to stay home
She doesn't have time for you

This girl...
She's stubborn
She hates silence
She doesn't pay attention to what you're saying
She hates it when you don't pay attention to her
She hates when you nag, even when you don't
She doesn't take advice
She's sickening
She's a pain in the ass
She's annoying
She makes you hate her

This girl...
She's everything you don't like in a girl
So why do you still want her?

Dreams and fear

I walk towards my dreams
but look behind on every step with fear
on bleeding feet of sadness
through the alley of darkness
these fear is squeezing my mind
Impulsive as they come
just screaming to pull out of the plastic life

torching path of life
with a ray of hope
penetrating thru holes in my heart
lifting haze of fear from my eyes
whispering joy to my trembing ears
now it has gotten under my skin
but i dont know if i should give up or give in
to make dreams become reality
or to let fear sink in

Wishlist updated v2

My wishlist:

1. A PDA
2. New purse
3. New handphone
4. A digital SLR-like camera with >10x optical zoom
5. New sunglasses (preferably identical to my beloved sunglasses that my mom accidently flushed down the toilet :( )
6. A holiday with my new camera and sunglasses!! yeeehhhaa!!

Trackback wishlist updated v1

Skip 4 & 5 - I'm jumping to no 6.
I'm glad to announce that now i have almost enough fund to go to China & Egypt next year. Alhmadulillah..
My next target is to increase the fund to support my mom. She always wanted to go to China.. Hopefully i can bring my sister along ;-)
No 4 and 5 became minor priorities now..
I have another special gift for my parents.. my target : 2006

Nicest thing...

I'm adding a year to my life calendar today. It feel so good, i feel like it's the best special day ever.. and the day is not over yet.
Things are alot more sweeter when you dont have any expectation. It will just fly in your window. It's not about gifts and fancy restaurants and all those bling bling..
It's the thoughts and sincere effort that comes a long way..

Heat off

Sometimes it's just frustrating when I'm disappointed or pissed off with sum ppl, I just do not know how to express my frustration directly to em. And when i try to keep it within, it'll just blow off sumwhere else and totally make a mess out of my life. Moment of catastrophy. Hate the person to bit.. well only for that moment.

Things would be much easier if i can just close my eyes and tell em off and slam the door. But no.. i just choose to mess with my head until it get cleared off on its own.
And the worse part is.. the person doesnt even have a clue!

Self-actualization

Why people need to change?
Why do we need to grow up?
Why growing up packaged with tons of responsibilities?
And why are there expectations that we need to live up to while climbing the stairs of life?
If we are not ready to face the expectation now, will we be ready tomorrow or even in a zillion years?

These few days i've been doing serious thinking of my life. I think i want to shift course.
At this point of time, I am still uncertain if i'm doing the right thing.. Probably the right thing for some people but my job doesn't excite me. My life doesn't excite me that much as well.

Yeah... You have a conflict when you know exactly what you want in life and you are not going toward the direction.
U know you have a conflict when u know for a fact that u need to do some dramatic changes in your life but u are too afraid of the consequences.
My hunch is that there are a lot of people like me--people who always felt called toward a certain type of career or goal in life, but who wound up grabbing the first safety rope that appeared. You can definitely climb that rope pretty high, and even make lots of money and have an impressive-sounding job title. But it's no key to satisfaction because you can never escape what you know inside: that there's something else you'd rather be doing, if only you had the courage and the opportunity to do it.

They say if you don't love what you do and look forward to doing it, that means you are condemning yourself to a life of discontent.
Hey dude, it's not as easy as it seem. Just because I don't like what I do now, does not mean I can quit the whole thing right now and shift away. This literally means i voluntarily send myself to a death sentence! I still have mouths to feed. Yup, my own and those little kitties!

Heya~

Hullo frens,

Been awhile since i last update this blog. Been busy with my sister's wedding (last weekend). Not to mention the workload that i left behind. The price to pay for a week break!

I've got a meeting to catch.. chow~!

The thing with the Malaysian Corporate Company

I can't say that i hate my job coz it feeds me everyday. But I hate dealing with people of the company i'm working with more than dealing with anybody else in the world. I can't seem to understand and tolerate with ppl who are passive (read: SLOW!). They are just testing my patience! I don't brisk walk so please... If you can't run, could you at least jog? Sigh, no wonder alot of Malaysians have fat asses!

I know some people in my team might not like me... They would probably be talking ill of me rite now. When i work, i don't like hanky panky. Just get down to business. And that's why some people take me for granted. That's when i would gladly fire them back, even in a meeting and even if she/they are of higher rank than me. Older is not wiser. It's the speed of the IQ & EQ get u where u wanna go. Sometimes i wonder how some ppl get promoted when he/she is just a plain stupid! Anyone wants to protest against promotion based on seniority system? I dont even wanna start with Malays & the Malay dilemma. Sucks, man!

Yikes!

Demmm i posted too much of junk! I ain't got no time and no idea to think of anything good! I need some inspiration *sigh*

Work pressure + lack of sleep + too much caffein = brain numbness

I hate this blog! and i need more coffee...

Judging me by my birthmonth

MARCH:
Attractive personality ( pheewittt!!)
Sexy (...lies in the eyes of the beholder)
Affectionate (*big huggg*)
Shy and reserved (my Social PersonalityDisorder)
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic (Amin)
Loves peace and serenity (so that i could sleep easy)
Aggressive when provoked (sometimes even when not)
Sensitive to others :)
Loves to help others (...aren't we all?)
Not easily angered (I am water)
Trustworthy (I'd like to believe so)
Defends others (sumtimes gets me into unnecessary trouble)
Appreciative and returns kindness (so that we can live in a perfect harmony)
Observant and assesses others (it is pretty interesting to learn social psychology)
Varied interests (yups, i get excited over stuff easily)
Loves to dream and fantasize (ehehh...)
Loves traveling (of course!)
Loves attention (can't help it. i'm the youngest in the family)
Strong belief system (erkk...)
Hasty in trusting others (just being careful)
Loves home decors (alot!! can't wait to have my own hse)
Musically talented (hahaha.. now that's a good joke)
Depends on friends (depends on the kind of fren that is)
Loves special things (hikss.. u & i are special *wink*)
Moody and easily hurt (guilty as charged! but i rarely express my feelings)
A giving lover (...is better than receiving)
Very loyal (certainly trying my best :)
Deep Thinker (hmmh...)
Feels deeply (i hope i dont get drown!)
A romantic (eh u?)
Loves to be loved (who doesn't?)
Thrifty (I wanna be thirty, trendy & thrifty ;-)
Loves down time alone (to be specific - location: Sushi King)

I googled me!

I googled me (again!), and I found this ;-)

Description of Your First Name of: Shuhaizee

The following brief summary describes only a few qualities of your first name. There are many additional factors (legal name, nicknames, family surname, combined names, previous names, business signature, and, very importantly, your inner potential or birthpath as determined from your date of birth) that create and mold your entire personality - and your entire life.

Although the name Shuhaizee creates an active mind and a restless urge to explore new ideas, we emphasize that it frustrates you through a scattered and emotional nature. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the solar plexus, liver and bloodstream.

Your first name of Shuhaizee has given you a quick, active mind, which has caused you to delve into many different ideas and theories. You have a desire for association with people and, since you have no difficulty in being spontaneous and expressive with others, you have considerable ability for discussion and debate. You enjoy unexpected opportunities for meeting people, or doing things on the spur of the moment. Where you have difficulty is in organizing and systematizing the handling of your responsibilities. Though you can work on any undertaking intently as long as it absorbs your interest, you cannot persevere when confronted by obstacles or by tedious monotony. Thus your success in your undertakings is limited.

**************************

If i could rate to this Kabalarian Philosaphy, i would give it a 4.5 over 5. All have been perfectly define as me. Yes, this is exactly the Shuhaizee that i am. The 0.5 that i hold back is the last line, which i presume is the summary of my name - that fails me. Sorry, I beg to differ.

"I had thought her a mere social climber. But i see her now a mountaineer"

I'm a mountaineer.. yeay!!

When i achieve my sales target or some recognition, i usually would want to celebrate. Whether a shopping treat at the mall , or just a dine out at any "Lepaque Place" with friends..
But today, after all the sweat and tear.. all i wanted to do now is to go home, wrapped myself around with my comforter and watch a good movie. Ahhhhhh~!!

For PTPTN loaners, you could check your status here. For a kepochi like me, you could also check on ur frens hehhee. Dudes, good luck in paying all the fees...
For those who refuse to pay.. Ish ishh ishh.. shame on you! Aizuddin said it aloud in his blog.

Go play kites

Lo and behold, some people DO take things seriously.

I'm a Piscean - a world renowned daydreamer. I have high imaginations and i think i have a creative vs crazy mind. I am Alice in Wonderland. But I can't afford to tell people of my dreams & imagination coz ppl may think i'm insane. Either that, or ppl take me seriously with my stories. Dont take everything i posted here to heart and too hard. Not everything is about me.. i get inspiration from various sources. So please... broaden your horizon!

Real life is such a bore. I created my own fantasies and i play alot with"what-if"s... and like a friend said, my world is in my mind. It doesn't hurt me, so why does it hurt you?

Creepy...

the black that doesn't fade when u awake
until you scream and shake
only to realize it wasn't a dream
but an aspiration of you insanity

and that you scream was silent
and your shake a feeble attemp
for when your eyes opened
your muscles are relaxed and resting

and your family is still asleep
but you were already awake

then you realize that if we're all the same
then right now they feel the same thing
and that if not,
you just have become
a victim of abnormality

- Jigz-

"No... I said I like you SO MUCH"

Have you ever watch Meet Joe Black? Do you remember the opening scene when Susan Parrish (Claire Forlani ohh she's so cute!) and a charming stranger (the handsome Brad Pitt) meet at a coffee house one fine morning, on their way to work. They had a short, lubricious conversation before they head back to their ways, and when he realized that he couldn't get enuff of her with just one short conversation, it was too late.

How often do you meet a stranger, exchange a few lines and realize that his words fit you perfectly and you can't forget him for the rest of your life? How many people actually even get to experience this? The conversation was so perfect, it delivered an emotional wallop that you've never had before. How ironic, that was the only conversation you had with him, and you never saw him again after that. And it was that few magical lines that blossoms in your heart. Even after years gone by, you still think of him and the conversation that you both had but you dont even know him. He...a stranger. A lover you know but you've never met.

You know, lightning could strike.

He said...

"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love -- well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived"

Non-sense of telling me

Have u ever felt like you want to say something but it just doesn't come out right? Or you have this thought rushing to your head while you were driving or in the toilet and when you finally get your fingers on the keyboard, u cant think of how to begin and THAT just destroys the whole idea altogether. It just spoils your mood!
*sigh*
I hate when it happens to me!!

Fill me in..

I'm going to make my blog go mainstream haha..
Let's play a game and fill me in (..the comment space) *wink*

[01.] Who are you?
[02.] Are we friends?
[03.] When and how did we meet?
[04.] How have I affected you?
[05.] What do you think of me?
[06.] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[07.] How long do you think we will be friends?
[08.] Do you like me?
[09.] Would you date me?
[10.] Would you kiss me?
[11.] Would you hug me?
[12.] Physically, what stands out?
[13.] Emotionally, what stands out?
[14.] Do you wish I was cooler? (eheh!)
[15.] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[16.] Am I loveable?
[17.] How long have you known me?
[18.] Describe me in one word.
[19.] What was your first impression?
[20.] Do you still think that way about me now?
[21.] What do you think my weakness is?
[22.] Do you think I'll get married?
[23.] What makes me happy?
[24.] What makes me sad?
[25.] What reminds you of me?
[26.] If you could give me anything what would it be?
[27.] How well do you know me?
[28.] When's the last time you saw me?
[29.] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[30.] Are you going to put this in your journal and see what I say about you?

The Paradox of Our Lives

We have taller buildings but shorter tempers
Wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints
We spend more, but have less
We buy more but enjoy less
We have bigger houses and smaller families
More conveniences, but less time
We have more degrees, but less sense
More knowledge, but less judgment
More experts, yet more problems
More medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life
we've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but Learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce
Fancier houses but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill.
These are the days of more households in the workforce, but the take-home pay is never seems to be enough to feed the family..

There is a saying which I am sure you will recognize: "Do what you love, live as if this is all there is. Life's journey is the destination…so dance like no-one's watching, work like you don't need the money, and love like you've never been hurt before…"

Change one thing, change everyting

"a flip of a butterfly wing can turns into torpedo in the other parts of the world"

I watched Butterfly Effect last nite.

Fieya watched it the other nite and she said the movie was so psycho she couldn't sleep the whole nite.. hmm, talking about butterfly effect.

Yes, i couldn't sleep last nite neither.Not because the film is so psycho it scares me. No. Because it made me think, what if we really could change the past, or even the future? Will it be a better world? Or at least a better life for me?

The film is about a young man, Evan Treborns (Ashton Kutcher) blacks out at every traumatic incident in his childhood life. So, when he was 7, his doctor advised him to write a journal as memory exercises. When he's at college, he finds a technique that allows him to travel back into the past, to occupy his childhood body and change history - by reading his journal. However, he soon finds that every change he makes has unexpected consequence that eventually change everything that follows. As he tries to rewrite the history time and time again, he starts to lose grip of reality. His desperation grows deeper each time he changes the past. And he finally finds an easy way out.

The ending of the movie is quite disappointing tho. No, sorry.. the ending was unexpected. None of those oh-it-was-just-a-dream ending but the scripwriter has came out with a better gimmick than that! It's the choice that the character Evan made at the end of the movie disappoints me. I respect Evan with the fact that everytime he realises that things didn't turn out right for his mother or one of his friends, he travels back to his childhood and tries to change the history. He wants to make everything perfect for every one that matters in his life. But, no my dear, that does not happen in the real world. As much as he did not want anything bad happen to his love ones and made such sacrifices but not everything comes in one box. Even in one person, there's at least a flaw. She is pretty but she's such a bitch! His guy is handsome and romantic but too possessive. Urgh! He's quite cute and smart, but he's just too thin. She's a hot mama but such a kluts. No one's perfect, ever heard of that?

And after watching the movie, i kept thinking of consequences that we have encountered in our life. What if i go to that uni, not this? Will i still be having the kind of friends that i have now? Am i going to know him somehow? Only if i take the right turn instead of left, that accident could be avoided. Only if my sister locked the steering of her car, it wouldn't get stolen. What if I submitted the resign letter that day, would i be better off somewhere? There's a lot of "what if"s and "only if"s in life that we somehow wish to turn back to the time of events.
I am glad that alot of things happen to me, there are some i dont even want to remember some i dont want to forget. There are times that i wish some things didn't happen and there are times that i wish some things will never end. But i do not wish i could turn back the time. Coz time passes by is all about possibilities and making choices of every second of our life.

And i curse Evan for being a quitter, even before he made it to the real world. He missed all the opportunities he could have simply by being a such a coward, and i pity him for that. He should have just live the life. For better or worse.

"My mom always said, life is like a box of chocolate, u never know what you gonna get"

Forrest Gump

Evan probably have never heard of this phrase, that's why he never dare to take the possibilities of life. hehe